felt our baby move

I sat at work in amazement this morning (and really didn't want to work) because I was feeling our baby move for really the first time. I had felt he/she kick once last week but that was it. For about an hour or two this morning I just kept feeling twitches and pokes...they weren't huge movements but definitely enough that I could tell it was more than gas-hehe. It was also in the same area of my belly that I felt the kick last weekend and the same area where I have found the baby's heartbeat. So..I'm pretty convinced it is the baby I am feeling. I can't wait until Toby can start feeling the baby too. I remember last time I felt the babies for a week or two before you could feel them on the outside. I'm getting more and more comfortable that things are going ok with this baby. I have been doing good but there is a part of me and I keep trying to shove that part to the back of my head that thinks something bad will happen. I haven't been letting it affect me but it's still there sometimes...just waiting. We have an ob clinic at my office on Thurs morning for pregnant pt's with diabetes. We had a couple today that lost their baby. It's sad to see them walk out. It takes me back...there is nothing you can do or say to bring their baby back. The only thing I can offer if they come to check out with me is that I too have lost two babies and that I understand what they are going through. This girl wasn't too far along in her pregnancy so I'm pretty sure she was considered a miscarry but it still sucks to see it happen. That is the second pt I have seen walk out comprehending the news that was just told to them...this baby will not survive. Sorry to end this post on a bad note but I guess that's just the way my thoughts ran.

I will end this on a good note instead...Melissa and Josie will be arriving at our house in a few hours. I'm excited to get to spend the weekend with them!

my belly

14weeks pregnant, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Here is the pic I said I would post. This was taken at 14 weeks. It's definitely popping out. I had some people ask at work the other day "Where have you been hiding that belly?"

getting excited for our baby

I am 14 weeks now. Last week was really the first time I have had a thought about doing something with this baby when he/she arrives. I was thinking about how he/she is due in April so that means we could take the baby to a ball game this summer. That was something we dreamed about doing with the boys. Dressing them up (but not alike) in little baseball outfits going to a game. I think subconsciously I was not letting myself have these thoughts with this baby, until the other day. I am finally realizing that this baby will be coming and I can't wait to meet him/her. I was actually thinking about how it's a girl and what kind of outfit would we dress her in to go to a baseball game. Surely they must have little pink onesies with baseballs on them. Toby thinks it is a boy...guess we'll just have to wait and see. We went to a zombie walk yesterday. It was national zombie day and they were hosting a walk downtown. So, of course Toby and I went dressed as zombies (see flickr for pics). While we were there I felt the baby move for the first time. It made Toby and I laugh. Apparently our baby loves zombies as much as Toby does...that's his little girl (I mean baby-hehe). I'll try and post a pic of my belly tonight. It's pooching out a little more.

Baby things are ridiculous!

So...we already have a car seat for our baby. When I was pregnant with the boys we had purchased a double stroller with 2 car seats. We held on to it for awhile after we had the boys but then decided to sell the stroller and one car seat while they were still current rather than wait til I got pregnant (since we didn't know when that would be) without twins, it wasn't current and then we couldn't sell it for as much. So to make a long story short we have a car seat but no manual. I was looking at it and couldn't figure out how you make the straps bigger or smaller. So, I went to the internet and found the manual for the stroller/carseat combination. The manual is 125 pages!! That is so ridiculous. I think they do it on purpose just to make pregnant hormonal moms even crazier...haha...I have decided that I found the manual and that is good enough for now. After all, I do have 6 months to figure it out.

11 week bump

11 week bump, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Here is a pic of my growing belly. I know it's not very big yet but it's a start. If you look at my flickr page I also have a sound clip of the baby's heartbeat. The clinic that I work in has a doppler so I used it today and recorded it with my phone. I'm feeling really good right now and have been for the last week.

We also made a trip last weekend to the smoky mountains. It was soooo great!! I have all the pics up on flickr.

Toby and I are getting ready for our favorite holiday - Halloween! We are excited on top of that b/c Melissa and Josie will be here. I can't wait to have Josie in our house again. We used to have an entertainment stand that had drawers in it. When Josie was coming over all the time we kept her toys in that drawer. About a month ago, we bought a new tv and stand and I took her toys out when we moved it. It was really wierd and almost like I was saying good bye even though I know I'm not (if that makes any sense). I don't know why I just thought of that...I've been feeling sentimental & nostalgic lately (pregnancy hormones??) I've been thinking of the boys a lot lately. So far, I have not had a complete break down about them or this new baby. I think I am just really excited to be pregnant and to have the reality of a baby coming into our house. I know the reality is that I can never have my boys here with me alive and I know I cannot replace them but I can have a brother or sister for them. I know I will enjoy this pregnancy but this time I don't even care about being pregnant. I just want to skip to the moment where I am being wheeled out of the hospital with a baby in my arms. That is my dream...and it WILL be fulfilled SOON!!

Sorry I'm rambling...bye for now...