Ireland Trip

P1110354, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Well, we made it back! We got back Sunday night and we are still trying to adjust to our time again, especially Wyatt. The poor guy is still pretty confused. He did very well on the whole trip considering the 6 hr time difference.

Meeting Karen was almost indescribable. I didn't realize that I still had some healing to do until I met her. We shared stories (in person finally!), pictures and memorial books of our boys. It was on this trip that I found the words to describe Waylon and Jesse coming into my life. I will never be happy that they died but I am very happy with what they have done with my life. The people I have met and choices I have made since they died have put me in a very good place in my life. Toby and I have discussed Godparents for Wyatt but could never decide who. We both knew after meeting them that Karen and Gavin were the ones, they just fit. Of course, they accepted. Hopefully that will never be but just in case I know my Wyatt will be in wonderful hands.

The trip itself was great. We got to see a lot of Northern Ireland considering we had a 1 yr old and 6 month old with us. It really is a beautiful country. I was in awe when we were standing on a cliff looking down at the sea and up at the rolling green hills. It was just magnificent.

Unfortunately, shortly after meeting Karen and Gavin we were also told that Toby's grandma died. We knew that she would probably pass while we were there. She was buried on Wed and we felt bad that we could not be there for her and the family. But in a way I found comfort that on the day she was buried, I was amongst some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. I like to think she had something to do with us being there on that day.

We also visited the boys' (Odrahn & Daire) grave. It was very emotional to be standing there with Karen finally. A lot of emotions went through me and poured out through my eyes. We just stood there hugging for what seemed like an eternity. Without them and my twins, I would not have been standing there at that moment with someone I had just physically met days before and yet feel like I have known for a lifetime. We would not have taken this wonderful trip to see Ireland. As time passes on, I can see their (twins) plan and it was/is so much bigger than we could see through our grief.

They are already planning on coming in about two summers to visit us. I have already begun our Ireland trip fund. They have promised next time we'll be taking the tents and heading to Southern Ireland to camp. I can't wait!!

The Reason I'm called Mom...

I am called Mom for three reasons, Jesse, Waylon and Wyatt.




Several years ago if you asked me what being a mom was, I would have had a completely different answer. And even 2 years ago I had a difference answer. Then it was a mixture of emotions and thoughts after the twins died but before Wyatt was born. I was a mom but I was not a parent. To me, being a parent is a verb. It's how you raise your child. I mothered my twins but did not have them around to be a parent to. This year, after raising Wyatt for a year, my answer to what it's like being a mom is completely different. It is the most rewarding job ever! I think I am lucky too in that Wyatt is a happy little guy most of the time. I truly enjoy being a mom in every sense. Here are just a few things that I like about being a mom to Wyatt...

I like that I can hula hoop in a store and he laughs like it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. Or that smelling his stinky feet after I take his shoes off makes him laugh. When his teeth hurt and after giving him orajel and tylenol, holding him is what comforts him. Telling him to dance and then watching as he tries to wiggle his body all about with no rhythm whatsoever. Watching him crawl through a box over and over that to most people would be trash, but to Wyatt it's the best toy ever! Lastly, one of my favorite things is chasing Wyatt through the house. He loves to chase me just as much!

Happy Mother's Day to me and all the other Moms!!