Wednesday, March 3, 2010

To have or not to have...that is the question

Over the last several months I have been trying to decide on whether or not I want another child. If we were to have another baby we were thinking of trying at the end of the summer but...I am leaning more towards no more. I have a lot of reasons but it mainly boils down to me just being selfish and wanting to enjoy life and my husband. I love Wyatt and enjoy him but I feel if we only have 1 that we will be able to give him more things and go on more trips with him. I had postpartum depression after I had Wyatt and even though I was on medication it was still very hard. Plus I really don't want to be pregnant again. I may not have the contraction problems that I had last time but if I do, I wouldn't be able to work. This time since I am only working part time I would be out of an income as well. I know there are times in the future that I would want Wyatt to have a (living) brother or sister but I just don't know if I can do it. After a sentence like that, most peoples comment would be...you just do it when it happens. But why? If it''s something I'm not sure of then why put myself in a situation that I can control. I'm happy with the way things are now so why should I change them? I feel some people are born to be moms and others like me are not...it doesn't mean I'm a bad mom or hate it but that I have other things in life that I want besides raising kids. Any suggestions or thoughts on to have or not to have are welcomed...

Kendra

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Kendra, I only have Skyler and I am happy for that in many ways. I feel blessed to be able to say I am a mother. I don't want to have anymore either. I don't think we are selfish in that matter I just think that is what god intended for us. I went through terriable depression also it is not fun. I think if it is meant that you are to have more then at that time you will know. God Bless Kendra

Trisha said...

Thanks for sharing your heart Kendra! Each person, family, and situation is different. With those differences we are all led to have different family sizes. For some couples that may even be no kids. Whatever you choose is perfectly fine. The key is to do what you feel is right for your family and situation. Go with you intuation and it if it doesn't feel right to have more at this time then that is probably what you should do. Later if your heart changes then you can always have more! :) I completely understand wanting to able to go on vacations etc. I long for that day again!

Ariana said...

Only you guys can decide that and I think you'll pick what is good for your family. I do have to say one thing though, nothing in this life is truly in our control as I find out every time I try to create the perfect plan. Surprises and disappointments are a part of life. (As much as I have hated our last one.) You guys are great at 3 and you would be great as more. It's really up to you. I like what Trisha said too. (Vacations can be done though. No harm in leaving the kiddo with Gramma for a week! I know I will be some day soon!)

Grandma Di said...

Dad and I were very surprised when you decided not to have any more children b/c it wasn't long ago that you sprung this on me and said you wanted to have one right away again and get the baby stuff over and move on. I was rather surprised that you wanted one this soon, but you tend to surprise us alot! lol! As to have or have not a child is completely up to both of you. As you know, i am an only child and survived. Of course there are times i wish i had a sibling,(especially when your parents get older to have another one to help with decisions etc.) but i have 2 sister-in-laws and great girlfriends so that full fills most of the needs. Every families situations are different and every mother is different. I think that both of you handle Wyatt very well. You sit and play with him and enjoy him and I completely understand wanting to have some time to yourself and selves also. You may not be here now if it wasn't for your dad wanting another one. I wasn't sure if i could handle anymore either but we managed but i also could not be a stay at home mom. I need to be around adults too and there is nothing wrong with that and you should do what your heart tells you and that doesn't mean you can't change your minds later. Enjoy this little bundle of joy now! Love ya! MOM