Jesse & Waylon's lantern

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The boys lantern

Above are some pictures of the lantern that we sent up in the air for the boys. Our good friend Karen from Ireland sent them to us. We set it off at Toby's parents house and each of us wrote little messages to the boys and then sent it to them.

Happy Birthday Jesse & Waylon

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it's been one year

So, tomorrow (wed) it will have been one year since I held my sweet boys in my arms. I can't believe this day is here already.

We watched the movie Mr. Magorium's Magic Emporium the other night. Mr. Magorium made a comment about death that stuck in my head. He was talking about a shakespeare play and how he is such a great writer and yet when a character died in one of his plays he ended it with a modest "he died". Then he went on to say that it's not the words "he died" that get to us but it is the life that we knew before those words that bring us tears. I am very glad that I got to see my boys live their short life but I just wish I could have seen more. I can wonder and wish all I want but it won't bring them back. I have learned to accept that.

My friend from Ireland, Karen sent me some lanterns (like small hot air balloons) for the boys. We are going to send one up this weekend at Toby's parents. We are going there to celebrate their b-days with Josie's. I will post some pictures of it going up in the air.

Well I really don't know what else to say except that I am glad to have survived this first year. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. If it hadn't been for Toby, I'm not sure where I would be.

Hopefully this next year will bring a new sister or brother to Jesse and Waylon.

Kendra