Kendra & Tobin Kirk and family

Roundup...Why should you care about it?

2011-06-10T12:56:00.000-07:00

Even if you don't use Roundup, Monsanto's #1 weed killer, you should care about it. Almost every food item that you eat (unless you eat organically) comes from genetically modified seeds. I am not opposed to the idea of gmo foods because they have done some good things like making corn able to grow closer together which means you can produce more corn per acre now. However, Monsanto modifies their seeds to become immune to Roundup which means every year the fields are sprayed with Roundup to kill weeds but not the crops. The Roundup is then in the food we eat along with other toxic chemicals. Monsanto is so big that they can conduct their own studies to produce the results that make it look like these foods are safe to eat. I heard a statistic the other day that autism is up 600% over the last 20 yrs or so. I wonder why that is???? Think about how our food has evolved over the last 20 yrs. 20 yrs ago, you didn't have 15 different flavors of hamburger/tuna/chicken helper on the shelf. These overly processed boxed foods contain so much crap and chemicals in them, it's no wonder we are seeing rises in cancer, autism, birth defects, etc. Unfortunately, our country does not require that foods be labeled whether or not they contain gmo's. The only way to know right now (unless you do your own research on every item) is to buy 100% organic products. I'm so fed up with our food system (which is why Toby and I have an organic garden this year)...everything contains high fructose corn syrup as well. It's no wonder why obesity is on the rise...not to mention, I can't believe how many young teens I see with belly fat. I don't remember that when I was in school and that was less than 20 yrs ago. There is so much processed crap in our food that our bodies cannot fully digest. It makes me want to scream....Anyways, this is the article that prompted me to write this little rant.

http://redgreenandblue.org/2011/06/08/its-official-monsantos-roundup-herbicide-causes-birth-defects/

Seeds...

2011-02-06T06:32:00.001-08:00

Pomegranate seedlings, originally uploaded by Fluffymuppet.

We purchased our seeds yesterday from www.seedsofchange.com. They are all organic, yay! However, there are way more in each packet then we will need. So, if you would like to purchase some of the seeds from me just let me know. Each packet was between $3-$4 each with about 50 seeds in each one. We are going to have a small garden so we will only need 10-15 at most...Here is a list of what we bought and if you want a description, go to seeds of change:

CARROT, RED CORE CHANTENAY
CELERY, TANGO
CORN, SWEET, HOOKERS
CUCUMBER, LEMON
MELON, EEL RIVER
ONION, NEWBURG
TOMATO, CRIMSON SPRINTER
TOMATILLO, VERDE
SQUASH, SUMMER, YELLOW CROOKNECK
PEPPER, PIMIENTO, TANGERINE
PEPPER, CAL WONDER ORANGE BELL

Monsanto...Genetically Modified...do you know these terms?

2011-01-17T14:32:00.000-08:00

So I know I scare myself by watching documentaries about our food, but guess what? I like to know what I am eating since I know that corn is not always what it appears to be. I just read an article in Mother Earth News Magazine (which is one of my fav magazines) titled "Genetically Modified Corn-Safe or Toxic". Monsanto, one of the biggest corn processing companies, has three corn varieties being sold by Monsanto to farmers that have become the subject of a new analysis by French Scientists. Two of the varieties have been designed to kill insects that kill the plant. The third was designed to tolerate Roundup which is Monsanto's best selling herbicide. Under current u.s. law, corps are not required to make industry conducted studies public. But in this case, thanks to a lawsuit, studies were released for independent analysis by scientists NOT being paid by Monsanto. They concluded that the data, which Monsanto claimed proved the corn varieties were safe to eat, actually suggest potential kidney and liver problems resulting from consumption of all three modified corn varieties, as well as negative effects in the heart, adrenal glands and spleen.

This is just one example of how (pardon my language) fucked up our foods have become. How do you know what to eat anymore?? Even if you eat veggies/fruits from a local family farmer, you almost have to ask where they got their seeds and do your research first. Ultimately, the only way to get around it is to grow your own food with seeds that you approve of.

The more I hear about things like this, the more I just want to move to the middle of nowhere with a couple of acres. I want a large garden where I can freeze and can my own food and not have to rely on grocery store food as much.

Toby and I are in the beginning stages of planning our garden this summer. We are trying to grow as much of the fruits and veggies that we eat everyday. We also have a few fun veggies/fruits that we are going to try. I'm really hoping every year we can do a little better at our garden since it seems our politicians are not going to help make our food any safer.

New Lifestyle Changes

2011-01-09T18:48:00.000-08:00

Toby and I have been making some changes to our lifestyle that will hopefully result in us being healthier and reducing our carbon footprint. These are extremely important to us (especially with Toby getting into the environmental field) that we felt we had to make some changes. We recycle quite a bit already but we have decided to compost. This will be better for the landfills and also help our garden. We have also decided to do raised garden beds this year. We did this when we lived in Nashville and had pretty good success.

Since we are living in my grandma's house, we don't want to tear up her yard so this is a good option for us. That being said, there are a few things we want to eventually do that we just can't do now. Mainly, that is raising chickens for meat and eggs and goats (for fun??). We went to buy a compost bin today and apparently they only sell them during gardening season and the lady questioned why we would want to compost now. If we start composting now then we'll have some good dirt ready when we plant our garden. If we wait til the stores carry them, then we can't use it til next year (or at least later in the gardening season)...make sense stores?? We have done a great job at making homemade foods and we have barely eaten boxed food in the last year. In fact, the few times we have out of necessity or time, they have tasted so salty and nasty to me that I can barely eat them. I still coupon and I am able to find ways to eat cheap without eating that crappy boxed food (hamburger helper, etc). I meal plan around what I have in the cupboard and what's on sale. We bought a bread machine and plan on making healthier homemade breads and pizza doughs. We made our first "bread" tonight in it...it was a pizza dough. I included a pic of the finished pizza. It was soooo delicious. I am definitely looking forward to making more breads in it.

I also bought a book with my xmas money called "Building Green". It discusses 4 alternative building methods, earth plaster, straw bale, cordwood and cob. I have a dream someday that we put down some roots (where, is still the question), have a little bit of land, a big garden, a few farm animals and an off the grid house. That would be the dream for both Toby and I.

We are very excited about our little changes we are making that will make a big impact on our health and earth.

Haven't blogged in awhile...

2011-01-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

I've been out of school since the week before Christmas. It's been very nice to have almost a month off. I like school, I really do but it seems things get put on the back burner while I'm in school. It's been nice to get some things accomplished. Toby, Wyatt and I celebrated Christmas Eve at home, just the three of us. We had smoked carp, potato soup, cheese and crackers. Growing up, we always had a nicer dinner on Christmas Eve (I remember one year having live lobsters in a cooler-dead ones at dinner-lol) and then opened a few gifts. We did just the same. We had our dinner and then we opened up our gifts to each other and let Wyatt open a few. It was a very enjoyable evening. That night after Wyatt fell asleep, 'Santa' came and brought Wyatt a train set. It was all set up for him on the floor and when he woke up in the morning he got the biggest surprise ever. He didn't know what to do at first, you could tell he was really surprised. We left our house later that day to go do Christmas at my parents house with my brother and his family, my parents and grandparents. Jake and Wyatt are about a year apart and they have moments where they are very cute and moments where they just fight, which is to be expected at that age. The cute moment though (and wish I had gotten a pic) was they fell asleep in bed together watching a Thomas video. We spent Christmas evening watching Christmas Vacation, a family tradition. The next morning, Wyatt and I made the 9 hr drive to Toby's parents. Unfortunately Toby had to work. We were only able to spend 1 whole day there but it was worth it. Toby's sister from MD was there with her two girls, 4 and 2. Toby's brother was there with his wife, son (6months) and daughter (3 yrs). With Wyatt there, that made 5 kids, one born every year! It was complete chaos the first night I got there as the girls were impatiently waiting for us to get there to open presents. The rest of the trip was enjoyable and Wyatt had fun playing with his cousins. It's been nice to be home for the rest of my time off from school. I'm trying to get some things organized around this house and it's coming along. For New Years, Toby, I & Wyatt went to a friends house. There were about 4 couples there with their kids. Wyatt was still running at 11pm when I put him in bed. But his eyes were closed within seconds. Well, I won't bore you with anymore for now...I hope everyone had a great Holiday season and a great New Year!

TTTS-Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome

2010-12-09T19:59:00.000-08:00

I received our annual donation request letter from the TTTS Foundation. It made me cry. She included a story shared on the TTTS facebook page. Amber, was diagnosed at 19 weeks with TTTS. She had laser surgery at 22 weeks and delivered her boys at 25 weeks. Dayton passed away 25 hours after he was born due to heart failure. Alex lived for 10 days and passed away from lung complications. What made me cry was this, "We spent every penny we had trying to save them. After 2 trips out of state and 10 days in the NICU, I now spend my maternity leave at home alone. I hope no one else has to go through this.". Unfortunately, I know how it is to spend your maternity leave at home, alone. I went back to work within a couple of weeks. After a week or so (time is a bit blurry), my family had gone home, friends had gone back to their normal lives, husband was back to work and I was at home alone...thinking...crying...wishing. I went back to work because I felt if I was doing something that I would be better off. In a way, I was.

Why am I writing about this? I want to spread the word of this horrible syndrome. It occurs more often than SIDS and everyone has heard of SIDS...have you heard of TTTS unless someone you know was affected by it?? My doctor never mentioned anything about it. I briefly read one paragraph about it in my twin book but it said it was rare so I didn't think much about it. Anyone that is pregnant with twins needs to be notified of this. Even if they say they are not identical. I know of moms who lost their twins to TTTS even when the doctors said they were not identical. They (dr's) can be wrong.

Mary, the founder of the TTTS foundation (www.tttsfoundation.org) had twin boys who were born premature due to ttts. One survived and one passed away. The survivor, Matthew, is now a healthy 21 year old. She founded the TTTS Foundation in honor of her sons. Mary provides information about ttts, treatment, access to medical specialists, plans of action, emotional support and a circle of care program. This program provides free airline tickets and hotel stays to get to treatment centers and pays for family expenses and bereavement costs. Bereavement costs is not something you think of when you deliver your babies...we were fortunate that a local funeral home donated their time and facility to cremate the boys and provide us with urns. Mary has a forum on her website and that is what saved me. I met other mothers who were going through the same exact thing as me at the same time. They have been wonderful friends and they honestly saved my life. Mary provided us with a packet of information specifically for dealing with the loss of your babies. It is a wonderful organization...please check it out and pass this on to help spread the awareness of TTTS, www.tttsfoundation.org.

December is Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome month in honor of Mary's sons who were born December 7th.

Small town living

2010-12-04T11:00:00.000-08:00

After living back in Morrison, my hometown, for a year, I am still trying to adjust. Since Moved away 13 years ago, I have lived in towns about 25,000 or larger. I really love the small town life with the exception of one thing, religion. It's a large "thing" because in a small town, religion is a way of life. It's not that I'm against religion, it's just not for me. I did not grow up in a very religious household and I just never really understood what, why and how it worked for people. I don't want to offend anyone, if it works for you and your family, great. However, I still believe that I am a good person and I will instill values and morals on Wyatt and hopefully he will grow up to become a decent man.

I like a lot of the friends I have met here. However, I feel there is a wall between us because for so many of them, religion is a big part of their life. We can enjoy each others time and have fun but when it comes to talking...there is apprehension on my part. I feel as if I have to hide a part of who I am. I will say (type) it, I don't believe-gasp! I am a spiritual person, I just don't necessarily buy into the story. I guess I am sort of chickening out by typing this out as I know some of my friends will read this. We tried to go to a church here in town once to meet people. We realized though that we would be making friends based on lies. Obviously if they met us through church they would think that we believed when in fact we don't. So we decided it was not for us. I really do like the community that a church has. I think it is a wonderful thing, it's just not for me. I guess I don't know where I'm really going with this. I just wanted to vent so to speak (type). It's just the one thing that has been really hard about living in such a small town. Toby and I have not found really close friends mainly because of this one "thing" which may seem stupid to some but we would love to have close friends that we share much in common with...

Potty training

2010-10-14T16:36:00.000-07:00

I am so impressed with how well Wyatt is doing at potty training. We have been working on and off since he was about 1 with him sitting on the potty. Well, the last few weeks we have been working at it a bit harder. Whenever we are home, he wears big boy undies. That way he will feel it when he goes potty and doesn't make as much of a mess on the floor especially if it's #2. We only have carpet in our house too so it's much easier to clean up with undies on. Well, the last few days he is getting the hang of telling me "potty" before he is actually going potty. It still is not soon enough to get him to and on the potty before he goes but I'm so proud of how quickly he is figuring it out. In fact, he has started telling me when we are out of the house that he has to go potty. I have some pull ups but I didn't want to start using them until he was trained a little better...maybe I should start using them when we are out of the house?? The other question is what do you do when you are out of the house and he says "potty" but you can't get to a potty in time or at all? I suppose even if we can't get to one in time I should still take him and sit him on it, right? I've been telling him "good job" and praising him when he tells me in public. Should I continue that when we can't get to a potty at all? Any advice on dealing with him going potty in public is greatly appreciated!!

Fall Fun!

2010-10-13T20:50:00.000-07:00

We have been enjoying the fall in the midwest...Here are a few pics from the last few weeks.

Farm Aid

2010-10-04T13:45:00.000-07:00

Saturday was the annual Farm Aid concert. This was our third one we have attended. We feel very strongly about supporting family farmers which is what Farm Aid is about. It all began with a concert in 1985 in Champaign to help family farmers. They did not realize that it would become a yearly thing. I can't wait til Wyatt is older and we can take him. They have booths promoting all sorts of agriculture related ideas/groups/farms, etc. We signed several petitions this year, just one of the many great things about going. If you are interested in learning more about Farm Aid and what they do, visit www.farmaid.org. It also helps that Willie Nelson is the founder of Farm Aid and anyone that knows me knows how much I love Willie! He tries to do so much for our country and sometimes I feel he accomplishes more than the president. He is a wonderful and caring man, a great musician, comedian and just plain a living legend. I have read his autobiography and if you ever care to know more about him, I highly recommend reading it. You will learn a lot about him. We visited his home in Texas one year and walked out on to his golf course. His recording studio is there and someone was inside playing when we walked by. Toby and I wished we knew who was in there so maybe we could get a peek inside...well, guess what? We found out when we got home that it was a band called Mates Of State recording in there and they were on the same label as Toby's band...go figure. We probably could have gotten in..oh well. Anyways, back to the concert. It was a great lineup this year, as always. Lukas Nelson (Willie's son) played and he was amazing. We got to see him last year too. Band of Horses was very good and I really enjoyed getting to see Norah Jones play. She is my guilty pleasure girl. Jamey Johnson played who is by far one of the greatest new country Nashville musicians. He's the real deal. Jeff Tweedy was pretty enjoyable as well. There were a few others but I'm just highlighting the ones I really liked. John Mellencamp played and he rocked my socks off like always. He just sounds so much better and fuller live. If you like him, I you definitely need to see him live....ah...soooo good. Neil Young was very enjoyable and with him you never know what you will get. Of course, Willie played last. You can tell he is getting older and just can't play as long because he always has guests to play with him some of the time. BUT he is still so good. I'm glad I got to see him play years ago when he could still rock hours worth of a set. This was my 6th or 7th time seeing him play...not really sure which. I hope there are several more and many more Farm Aid's to attend.

Me enjoying a pb &j sandwich I brought from home so I could afford $7 beers, lol.

My sil's sister (Kelly), me, Toby, Karyn (my sil) and my brother Curt.

Update

2010-09-26T21:07:00.000-07:00

Ok...so it's been awhile. I've been super busy with school. I just finished my first real design class, Basics of Interior Design. I loved it which is good since that is my degree. I am really enjoying school even though it takes up most of my evenings after Wyatt goes to bed. Toby is doing more of the core classes right now so I know he is not quite as pumped as I am. He will be there soon though. Wyatt is doing great! He is such a funny little guy. He has been learning new words almost daily for the last couple of weeks. He now says "no" but sings it over and over when he says it. It's so funny. He really is a smart and very good little boy. Tomorrow if the weather is nice we are taking Wyatt to the zoo. It should be fun b/c he has learned a lot about animals lately. He can make sounds for an owl, lion, monkey, cow and sheep. He loves owls right now and we plan to take him to see the new owl movie that just came out. He says owl "odwl"...it's very cute. We haven't done a whole lot lately, just the daily grind and a few trips to the park to play. The weather is getting colder here and fall has definitely set in. We broke out Wyatt's footy pj's the other night. I refuse to turn the heat on yet and it's been a bit cold in here at night. I'm looking forward to Halloween this year. Our neighborhood gets lots of trick or treaters which is always fun. Well, not much else to update I guess...hope everyone else is doing good.

Grief...

2010-08-30T10:27:00.000-07:00

After being off of anti-depressants for 7 months, I am back on them. I won't go in to detail but the last two months have been hell. I have felt completely out of control of my emotions and like I am going crazy. It has been an up and down battle since I had Wyatt. I went to the doctor at the beginning of this month thinking maybe my thyroid was off since the pregnancy but my thyroid is fine. So, I started seeing a therapist last week and she brought up something in our conversation that I had never thought of. I really struggled the first 8 or 9 months when Wyatt was born. I was emotionally a mess. My dr and I thought it was postpartum depression and he put me on meds which really helped me be able to function. However, I still had a hard time connecting and bonding with Wyatt. I knew I loved him but I just didn't feel this really close bond. It wasn't until he was closer to his first birthday that I started to feel this way. I started feeling a butterfly in my chest when I would be with him, something I hadn't felt before. Well starting about two months ago, I became an emotional wreck again. Most of the time, the butterfly in my chest was gone. I would cry anytime for no reason and I was completely unreasonable and a wreck. My therapist pointed out that maybe I'm not really over my grieving period yet from losing the boys. It makes sense b/c the first outbreak occurred right after Wyatt was born and the second one was soon after we got back from Ireland. I thought the Ireland trip was very healing and it was so wonderful to see/meet Karen finally. However, maybe it did bring up some unresolved feelings. That would also explain why I may have had a hard time feeling like I was bonding with Wyatt. I'm really hoping these therapy sessions will help me. I can see a lot of positive things that have happened because the boys were in our lives for such a short time. But I also feel sometimes that I wish they had never been born because things would have been so much easier. It's a battle and I think in some ways it always will be.

I will leave you with one of my favorite poems:

Lifetime Wish
If we could have one lifetime wish
A dream that would come true,
We'd pray to God with all our hearts
for yesterday and both of you.
A thousand words can't bring you back
We know because we have tried...
Neither will a thousand tears
We know because we have cried...
You've left behind our broken hearts
And happy memories too...
But we never wanted memories
we only wanted both of you.

Breastfeeding thoughts...

2010-07-22T19:51:00.000-07:00

Since Wyatt was born, I have felt the need over and over again to explain why I stopped breastfeeding Wyatt after 4 weeks. What I hate about it is that I shouldn't have to explain. No matter the reason was it was Toby and I's decision, bottom line. People (and not all) make me feel like I just made up excuses or just didn't want to do it. Honestly it wasn't the best thing in the world but if I could have I would have. First, I was not producing enough milk. I know what you are thinking or saying if you are one of those people who try to make me feel bad for stopping. I tried...I tried expressing, pumping, etc. I just wasn't producing enough to make him full. I personally think there is a reason for this. I ended up on anti depression meds for postpartum depression. I think my depression which also meant I was not eating healthy or at all sometimes was partial cause for my lack of producing. I was seriously going crazy before I got on meds and even somewhat after the meds. It took until Wyatt was 9 months old before I could go off of them. I tried at 4 months, 7 months and then at 9 months. I think at 7 months I made it about a week before I started sobbing again. I would just sob uncontrollably. I couldn't function, etc. I had horrible thoughts about Wyatt (not about harming just that I didn't feel connected with him, etc) and that would lead me to sobbing more. At times, I wished he had never been born. I was an absolute mess! Obviously, if you know me, you know I am absolutely in love with my son. That person was not me and I am so glad I am over that. So, I guess what I am getting at is that if a mom says she isn't bf or stopped, don't judge her! Please!! Looking back now, I would have supplemented the bottle with at least one breastfeeding a day but I was just so completely out of it and not thinking straight. At least he got 4 weeks worth and he is healthy and happy now. That's all that counts. That being said, below is a quote from online source that I found about ppd and breastfeeding....

"Bottle-feeding and formula might not be as super-awesome-fantastic as breastmilk, but they're certainly pretty good, and if it comes to a toss-up between giving your child the best nutrition and losing your mind, or giving your child excellent nutrition and maintaining your sanity, well, the choice should be pretty straightforward. You can't take care of that baby if you're sobbing, helpless, in a corner. Better to get some rest and slip her an occasional - even a frequent - bottle than to sacrifice yourself at the altar of Breast Is Best.

Breast is best, but healthy, happy moms are better."

4th of July weekend

2010-07-06T05:07:00.000-07:00

We had a fabulous weekend...Toby gets every other weekend off and it just so happened that he had the 4th weekend off. I went out on Thursday night for a few hours with my neighbor. We went to a bar called Poopy's and watched a band play. On Friday night, it was the monthly mom's night out. This time we went to the comedy club. It was pretty fun. Saturday night we decided to take Wyatt camping for the first time. We have a very nice state park right in town so we took him there in case we had to leave and come home. Well, he LOVED it! We ate dinner at the park restaurant. Then we took him to the playground. Walking back to our campsite, we met our camping neighbors. They had a 7 yr old girl. Wyatt and her became friends and she took his hand and off they went. So, we hung out with them for awhile. They were a very interesting couple and enjoyable to hang out with. Wyatt finally fell asleep in my arms so back to our campsite we went. We put him in the tent and Toby and I stayed up to play some farkle. He woke up once and when I unzipped the tent and popped my head in, he laughed. I guess he thought it was funny that my head just popped in. After that, he was asleep til 5am. Luckily, we got him to go back to sleep and then we all slept til 8:45! By that time, we were roasting in the tent too. We got up, made breakfast and then headed home. I'm so glad he liked camping since Toby and I love it. We just took a lazy day for the 4th. That evening though we went with our neighbors to their friends trailer on the Rock River. They do fireworks in Prophetstown on the river which is just down the road from us. Wyatt had a lot of fun running around there and helping us play bags. He fell asleep before the fireworks started but he woke up shortly before they began. He just sat there and watched them. I'm sure next summer he'll be a bit more enthused. We headed home after the fireworks so we could get the wee man to bed. We were both tired yesterday after a busy weekend but we had a lot of fun. Below are a few pics from the weekend.

I love this one! This was on the 4th just before the fireworks started.

My boys sleeping in the tent.

Potty training breakthrough today!

2010-06-21T18:31:00.001-07:00

Potty training at it's finest, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wyatt decided to surprise me today. I have been working on potty training him, not hard core but I put him on the potty at least once a day. Well, this morning I said to him "Wyatt let's go potty". And he went straight to the bathroom door. I was shocked and thrilled. He doesn't actually 'go' on the potty very often but the fact that he is correlating these together is great. He sat on the potty two more times today and both times he went straight to the bathroom when I told him "let's go potty". He almost went on the potty once today if I could have gotten the diaper off fast enough but I was too slow. So, I just set him, diaper and all on the potty and told him "go potty" so at least he still got the idea...lol.

Also, tonight at bedtime I told Wyatt, "let's go night night". He put his head down on the pillow on the ground. Once again that surprised me as he has never shown that he understands what night night means. Then I went to go pick him up and he wouldn't let me. Instead he walked into his room and to his crib and pulled on the bars as if he wanted in. I couldn't believe he did both of these today!! What a little smarty pants...What's next?!

Update...

2010-06-12T13:38:00.001-07:00

P1110579, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Last night, Toby and I enjoyed an evening out without Wyatt. It was really nice to be out alone. We went to a Mexican restaurant, El Feria, that we hadn't been to yet. It was pretty good but El Toro in Clinton is still my fav. one around here so far. Then we headed back to Morrison and went to the three bars that are here in town...lol. We met one of our neighbors last night which was also nice.

Wyatt has become a climbing fool lately. He climbs on everything that he can. I had to include this pic of him. We were grilling out one night and he figured out how to climb up on to his picnic table. Wyatt and I go for walks around Morrison almost every evening that it's nice out. The other night he actually fell asleep in his stroller-which is very unlike him. Toby and I had the discussion last night about whether or not moving here was the right decision and we both feel that it was. In Nashville, I wouldn't feel comfortable walking around with just Wyatt like I do here. I even put a $20 in my pocket the other night to walk to the grocery store...that's something we never did in Nashville. Plus in reality, Toby and I would have only had 3 hrs every week day to spend with Wyatt after getting home from work. I can't imagine what a different child he might be if he had been with his sitter all day 5 days a week. I know we have made the right decision...There are advantages to living in the city but with Wyatt, the advantages of living in a small town out weigh those by far.

Toby and I are still going to college. It's been an adjustment since Toby started his new job to make the time for school but we are getting it down slowly. Toby is now working at Sullivans where I work. He is the night manager. It's pretty nice so far and he likes the job (far better than the other two he had here). I think this will be a job he can be happy with until he graduates from college. He has every other weekend off which is great. I know he is enjoying the 4 min commute to work as well.

Well...guess there's not much more to update here and Wyatt's about to wake up from his nap.

Ireland Trip

2010-05-25T19:55:00.001-07:00

P1110354, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Well, we made it back! We got back Sunday night and we are still trying to adjust to our time again, especially Wyatt. The poor guy is still pretty confused. He did very well on the whole trip considering the 6 hr time difference.

Meeting Karen was almost indescribable. I didn't realize that I still had some healing to do until I met her. We shared stories (in person finally!), pictures and memorial books of our boys. It was on this trip that I found the words to describe Waylon and Jesse coming into my life. I will never be happy that they died but I am very happy with what they have done with my life. The people I have met and choices I have made since they died have put me in a very good place in my life. Toby and I have discussed Godparents for Wyatt but could never decide who. We both knew after meeting them that Karen and Gavin were the ones, they just fit. Of course, they accepted. Hopefully that will never be but just in case I know my Wyatt will be in wonderful hands.

The trip itself was great. We got to see a lot of Northern Ireland considering we had a 1 yr old and 6 month old with us. It really is a beautiful country. I was in awe when we were standing on a cliff looking down at the sea and up at the rolling green hills. It was just magnificent.

Unfortunately, shortly after meeting Karen and Gavin we were also told that Toby's grandma died. We knew that she would probably pass while we were there. She was buried on Wed and we felt bad that we could not be there for her and the family. But in a way I found comfort that on the day she was buried, I was amongst some of the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. I like to think she had something to do with us being there on that day.

We also visited the boys' (Odrahn & Daire) grave. It was very emotional to be standing there with Karen finally. A lot of emotions went through me and poured out through my eyes. We just stood there hugging for what seemed like an eternity. Without them and my twins, I would not have been standing there at that moment with someone I had just physically met days before and yet feel like I have known for a lifetime. We would not have taken this wonderful trip to see Ireland. As time passes on, I can see their (twins) plan and it was/is so much bigger than we could see through our grief.

They are already planning on coming in about two summers to visit us. I have already begun our Ireland trip fund. They have promised next time we'll be taking the tents and heading to Southern Ireland to camp. I can't wait!!

The Reason I'm called Mom...

2010-05-08T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am called Mom for three reasons, Jesse, Waylon and Wyatt.

Several years ago if you asked me what being a mom was, I would have had a completely different answer. And even 2 years ago I had a difference answer. Then it was a mixture of emotions and thoughts after the twins died but before Wyatt was born. I was a mom but I was not a parent. To me, being a parent is a verb. It's how you raise your child. I mothered my twins but did not have them around to be a parent to. This year, after raising Wyatt for a year, my answer to what it's like being a mom is completely different. It is the most rewarding job ever! I think I am lucky too in that Wyatt is a happy little guy most of the time. I truly enjoy being a mom in every sense. Here are just a few things that I like about being a mom to Wyatt...

I like that I can hula hoop in a store and he laughs like it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. Or that smelling his stinky feet after I take his shoes off makes him laugh. When his teeth hurt and after giving him orajel and tylenol, holding him is what comforts him. Telling him to dance and then watching as he tries to wiggle his body all about with no rhythm whatsoever. Watching him crawl through a box over and over that to most people would be trash, but to Wyatt it's the best toy ever! Lastly, one of my favorite things is chasing Wyatt through the house. He loves to chase me just as much!

Happy Mother's Day to me and all the other Moms!!

Wyatt is 1!

2010-04-18T07:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Wyatt turned 1! I still remember last year like it was yesterday. Toby came home from work on my b-day and I told him that we may be heading to the hospital soon. I was in a fair amount of pain but I wanted to celebrate my b-day first. So, he went and got pizza and pop and brought it home b/c I was in too much pain to go out in public. We ate our dinner and within an hour we were headed for the hospital. They got me all hooked up and were just waiting to see what happened. Toby brought the computer and was watching a baseball game. The nurse came in and we were all talking about baseball when my water broke...Finally, it was time! This was about 8pm and Wyatt decided to arrive just 15 min after my b-day.

We have had a lot of fun this last year...he is a joy to be around (most of the time -lol). He has been walking for two months now. He has a few words he can say or at least we know he is trying to say them, kitty, doggy, good job, turtle, duck, mama, dad-da, and Dora. He is absolutely in love with Dora. He is eating mostly table food now. He still gets a morning bottle and occasionally baby food. He switched over to milk/sippy cup without much problems. He is a very active and happy little guy. He will sit and watch tv but other than that he is pretty much on the go.

He loves to be outside. Toby and I took him hiking at our local state park. It's a very nice park and I can't wait til we can take him camping there this summer for his first time. Below are a few pics of our hike.

We had his first b-day party last weekend so my brother and his family could come. He had a Dora/baseball theme since those are the two things he likes most. He did very well at his smash cake and make a nice mess of himself. We then went to Happy Joe's Pizza for dinner. We came home about 6:30 and he went to sleep as soon as we got home. He slept until morning, guess we wore him out good!

I'm looking forward to this summer and all the things we can do outside. Next month, we are going to Ireland! I can't wait!!! Wyatt is going with us so it will be interesting to see how he does on the plane and how he adjusts to the time change. It will be so great to finally meet Karen and her family after talking with her online for three years now. And...the other day, the last TTTS mom that I still talk to had her baby girl. Now Karen, Rochelle, Andrea, Sara and I all have gone on to have healthy babies! I'm so happy for all of us to be able to have another chance.

So...here are some pics from the last month or so.

Not the most flattering pic of Wyatt but I still think this is cute. This is his cousin Jake.

Playing chase

2010-03-10T21:22:00.001-08:00

Playing chase, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wyatt's favorite game is to play chase around the house. I ran into the kitchen and hid and waited for him. This is him finding me around the corner...

Waylon, Jesse & Wyatt

2010-03-10T20:49:00.000-08:00

Friday will be the twins' 3rd birthday. I can't believe it's been 3 years already! I'm very glad that while the intensity of the pain has diminished the memory of holding them has not. Those memories of them in the hospital are still as plain as day, which I am very thankful for.

I feel very blessed to have Wyatt after everything we have been through. He is perfect: healthy, cute and so much fun! There are times still that I see the twins in him. He was napping the other day and his jaw and mouth still looked like the twins. It's crazy after all this time that he would still resemble them at times.

Wyatt has been such a joy lately to watch. He is soooo observant. We were outside today sitting on the sidewalk playing with leaves. I was twirling one in my hand and Wyatt turned to the side and saw the shadow of the leaf moving. He would look at the leaf and then at my hand and then back at the leaf. It amazed me that he would be able to put those two together. He is walking around very good now and his favorite game is to be chased around the house. I have a cute video of us playing chase that I will put up.

On the other hand, he is starting to show us some tantrums once in awhile. If he doesn't like what I'm doing or what I'm trying to stop him from doing he will plop down on his butt and put his head between his legs while fussing. If I try to pick him up he just tries to keep bending over. So...I just leave him and ignore him. Once I do that he stops immediately. I have to admit thought, it's kind of funny...

It will always be mixed emotions because I am pretty sure that if the twins had lived Wyatt would not be here...so I like to think that Jesse and Waylon took the best of them and made Wyatt. That way I have them both still. I just feel extra special that I get to watch Wyatt grow up!

What's crazier to me than celebrating the twins 3rd birthday will be celebrating Wyatt's first b-day a month and 5 days from the boys!! I can't believe it's almost here!

To have or not to have...that is the question

2010-03-03T05:05:00.000-08:00

Over the last several months I have been trying to decide on whether or not I want another child. If we were to have another baby we were thinking of trying at the end of the summer but...I am leaning more towards no more. I have a lot of reasons but it mainly boils down to me just being selfish and wanting to enjoy life and my husband. I love Wyatt and enjoy him but I feel if we only have 1 that we will be able to give him more things and go on more trips with him. I had postpartum depression after I had Wyatt and even though I was on medication it was still very hard. Plus I really don't want to be pregnant again. I may not have the contraction problems that I had last time but if I do, I wouldn't be able to work. This time since I am only working part time I would be out of an income as well. I know there are times in the future that I would want Wyatt to have a (living) brother or sister but I just don't know if I can do it. After a sentence like that, most peoples comment would be...you just do it when it happens. But why? If it''s something I'm not sure of then why put myself in a situation that I can control. I'm happy with the way things are now so why should I change them? I feel some people are born to be moms and others like me are not...it doesn't mean I'm a bad mom or hate it but that I have other things in life that I want besides raising kids. Any suggestions or thoughts on to have or not to have are welcomed...

Kendra

Wyatt is walking

2010-02-22T18:10:00.001-08:00

Wyatt walking, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

This afternoon Wyatt started taking about 4 or 5 steps, before that it had been just 2 or 3. Luckily Toby was home this afternoon so he got to see it too. Well, as the day went on so did the number of steps. This video was taken around 4pm and at 7pm I skyped my parents and he was walking 5-6 feet! It's just crazy how fast they can master something. I'm sure in the next few days he'll become a pro at it. He started crawling the day before he turned 8 mos and now he is walking 5 days after he turned 10 mos old! What fun!

March of Dimes

2010-02-13T12:38:00.001-08:00

My mom and I will be doing the March of Dimes walk again this year in memory of Jesse and Waylon. If you would like to donate to such a great cause or join us in the walk, please click below.

Hello me...

2010-01-15T18:55:00.000-08:00

Hello me,
It's nice to see you again. It's been awhile and I've missed you.

I'm soooo happy to say that my postpartum depression is gone! I was on lexapro since Wyatt was just a few weeks old. I tried to go off of it when he was about 4 months and then again a few months later...no dice. It was bad...so back on the meds I went. However, I have been off the meds now for just about a month and I'm happy to say that I feel like me again. It's just, plain, nice! My dr. said it would take about 8 or 9 months and what do ya know, he was right :)

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-08T19:47:00.000-08:00

I am setting aside a few goals for 2010...

We did this for 2009 and we were very successful so hopefully we can continue. Our goal in 2009 was to continue to pay down and eventually off our credit card debt and as much other debt as possible. Toby and I worked two jobs between 2008 and 2009 and also received some inheritance money. Between those we paid off $20,000 in credit card debt, $9,000 on our window loan, $8,000 on our car loan and $4,000 on Toby's motorcycle loan. Then we sold our house and paid off our mortgage. So, we are starting off 2010 credit card debt free and the only debt we have left is my student loans and a very small car loan. We could have paid for the whole car but that wouldn't have left us with much savings so we decided it was best to finance a few thousand. Our other goal was to have a baby which everyone knows happened. I'm so glad we were able to get in a better financial situation before he came..it has made it much more enjoyable and relaxing.

So that being said, my first goal for 2010 is to not incur anymore credit card debt. Which should be pretty easy after working two jobs for a year, credit card debt is not worth it! Secondly, we need to add to our retirement fund. I was doing one through Vanderbilt where they matched it but we have relaxed since I quit there. So, I added our savings account to it tonight so we can transfer money over. I'm not setting up a goal on how much to add each month because we don't always work the same hours each week-some more and some are less...I also started a separate savings account to save for our down payment for our house. This is so we don't spend it from our regular savings account. My last goal is to coupon even more this year and spend less on our groceries. I got an excel spreadsheet from a lady that will help us keep track of just how much we spend on groceries and how much we saved monthly. I'm also trying to plan meals ahead of time using what we have in the pantry. I will still have to buy veggies/fruits when I need them but we can try and plan meals around those sales to get even more for our money.

Like 2009, our goal for 2010 is to have a baby...but it will probably be more like a get pregnant in 2010. We are going to Ireland in May and we are planning on trying once we get home so technically he/she probably won't be born until 2011. I think this one will be our last...

I hope if you are making some New Year Resolutions that you are able to stick to them!

Good luck in 2010!!

Minneapolis Trip

2009-12-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

On Monday, Wyatt and I took a trip to Minneapolis to meet two friends for the first time. I know your wondering right now what I'm talking about. Well, we met online on the twin to twin transfusion syndrome message board. They too had lost their twins. We have been talking online for about two years now. They were and continue to be wonderful support through our life long journey of learning to live without our babies. Within the last 8 months we have all gone on to have another healthy baby. We all helped each other through these pregnancies. There is a set of emotions, questions and reluctancy to answer questions that come from a pregnancy after a loss. The most annoying is "is this your first"...What do you say? You know what they mean and yes, it will be our first to take care of but not our first time being a parent. So, even 2 years after losing our babies, I still welcome my wonderful support system of moms.

Andrea lives in Minneapolis. She lost her twin girls in Oct 2007 at 22 weeks. Rochelle lives in Phoenix but is from Northern Wisconsin and she was coming home for the holidays. That is why we all met up. She lost her twin boys at 31 weeks in Jan 2007. I lost Waylon and Jesse in March, 2007 at 22 weeks. It was indescribeable to meet them finally! To finally be talking to them in person and sharing our thoughts and stories of our babies. Andrea showed us her pictures of the girls and the scrapbook she is making. I showed them pictures of Waylon and Jesse...most of which no one but Toby and I have seen. We love them and have no problem looking at them but most people would. They were small, discolored (from the excess/Waylon and absence/Jesse of blood), bruised from too much blood and just so tiny and delicate. I arrived at Andrea's Monday afternoon and left Wednesday morning. Unfortunately, Rochelle could only hang out with us for a few hours on Tuesday and the time just went by too fast. Before I knew it, her husband was calling to say he was coming to get her. We all share a love of Jimmy John's sandwiches which I thought was pretty funny.

Below are a few pics of our little get together. Andrea is on the left with her son Jonathon (almost 3 mos), Rochelle is in the middle with her son Devan (7 mos) and Wyatt (8 mos) and I. Andrea and I love baseball and now that we are in Illinois we are planning a baseball trip maybe sometime this summer. It would be great if we could all get together at least once a year.

In May, Toby, I and Wyatt are going to Ireland for 8 days to visit Karen. She was the first mom that I met who lost her twins. Hers were born just 10 days before our boys. I'm so excited and especially after this trip to meet her and her family. She has a newborn girl, baby Grace. I can't wait to meet them all!

Wyatt crawling

2009-12-20T16:27:00.001-08:00

Wyatt crawling, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Two days before Wyatt turned 8 months old he started crawling...Here is a little video I shot and he is already much better at it. He can now say "ma ma", "da da" and "ball". I guess he said "pa" last night when my parents were trying to get him to say "pa pa". He is still such a good baby. He is usually happy entertaining himself with his toys. He won't take naps in his crib anymore, he just sleeps on a blanket on the floor. Ever since he has learned to sit up and stand in his crib he won't take naps....but he has no problem sleeping at night in it.

Tomorrow morning we are leaving bright and early for Minneapolis...just Wyatt and I. I am going to meet up with two moms that lost their twins. I'm excited as this will be the first time we have met after talking to each other online for over two years! Rochelle has Devan who is a month behind Wyatt and Andrea has Jonathon who is only a few months old. It should be a lot of fun getting together finally!

We also booked our trip to Ireland so we can meet Karen. She was the first mom that I really talked to when I lost the boys. She lost her boys 10 days before me and we helped each other along the way. She has a brand new baby girl. I'm so excited that within months I will get to meet the moms that have helped me through the worst thing I have ever been through. We are closer in some ways than many of my good/best friends that I know in person. They and my husband are the reason I am here today...and happy about it! Thank you!!!

Have a great Christmas everybody! We will be going to visit my great grandma who is 100 yrs old. I think we are going to get dinner and bring it to the nursing home to eat with her. Then the weekend of New Years we will be going to Toby's parents house to do their Christmas. We celebrated my family's last weekend since my nephew Ty is going to go visit his mom in California for two weeks.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

More x-mas pics

2009-12-15T19:15:00.000-08:00

X-mas

2009-12-15T19:13:00.000-08:00

We had our Lange x-mas last weekend, Wyatt's first. He had fun with the tissue paper and bags but didn't really get the whole unwrapping thing. But, his cousin Jake helped him. Here are a few pics from that day and his first visit with Santa. He was way more interested in the bells Santa had than him. At least he didn't cry. We had a lot of fun and I can't wait until next year when he can really dig in to the toys!

Wyatt's first thanksgiving

2009-11-29T19:15:00.001-08:00

Wyatt's first thanksgiving, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

We made the 8 hr + road trip to Kentucky for Thanksgiving. We had a great time seeing the family and watching Josie and Wyatt "play" together. Wyatt ate some sweet potatoes otherwise he pretty much just watched us eat. We got to spend some good quality time with Grandpa Tom. He just adores his great grandson...the rest are all girls so I think he is a bit proud of his boy :) It was so good to see Josie again. She is such a cutie and it melts my heart when she grabs my hand and wants to show me something and calls me Aunt Kendra. We left Saturday so we could have Sunday to recoup before Toby had to go back to work on Monday. I'm off til Wed-yay! We stopped in Bloomington on the way home to see some friends. They were having a Thanksgiving feast and only Laura knew that we were coming. They were all shocked to see us. It was great to see them all even if it was for just a few min. Wyatt was very happy to be out of his carseat so he was cracking them up with his bursts of energy. Now we are back home and relaxing before the work week starts.

12 Tips to being a good mom

2009-11-10T20:39:00.000-08:00

I had some problems in the beginning adjusting to the whole mom thing. At least that's all I thought it was. Now I realize that it was post partum depression. I'm still on medication for it. I went off about a month ago and I definitely still needed it, so I'm back on. While I was off the meds, I found this article that really spoke to me. I was feeling overwhelmed by this whole motherhood thing. I felt like I didn't have my own identity, I was just a mom...which I liked but felt smothered at the same time. I'm sure other moms can relate to this adjustment period. Without my meds, I just cried and cried and sometimes thought mean thoughts about Wyatt. I never wanted to hurt him (thank god) but it scared me to think that I could think these things about someone that I had longed for since we lost the twins. Anyways, I was going through my bookmarked sights on the computer and I found this site again so I thought I would post these for everyone. (These tips were copied and pasted from the site).

12 Tips to remember to be a good mom

1. Stay true to yourself. You don’t have to give up your own passions and interests once you become a mom. It’s important that you find time for what YOU love to do. Reading, writing, exercising – make these a priority and find a way to incorporate those into your routine. Easier said than done, I know, but you should at least aim to keep doing what you love, even if you don’t get to do it as often as before. If you take care of your own needs, you will be happier and will function better as a mom.

2. Don’t be a martyr. The kids didn’t ask for it, they don’t need it, and they certainly don’t need to pay the price that comes with being mothered by a martyr. Need some time alone? Let the kids watch TV for an hour and go read a book. Feel like you haven’t had adult interaction in ages? Leave them with Dad for the evening and make plans to have dinner with a friend. Getting to the point where you are utterly exhausted is not good for you or for your kids.

3. Don’t try to be perfect. This is true for life in general, and is a major personal goal of mine, regardless of motherhood. Striving for perfection is always a bad idea, because life is messy and unpredictable and full of surprises. Trying to create perfection, or to maintain complete control, is simply impossible and should never be your goal. Once you become a mom, life is messier and crazier than ever before, so it’s more important than ever to let go of that perfectionism. You need to accept that the house will sometimes be untidy, that once in a while dinner will be takeout, and that the kids will sometimes have to entertain themselves while you recharge and regroup.

4. Ditch the guilt. Guilt seems to be one of the most common side effects of motherhood. A friend once told me that she feels guilt every single day. I too am often guilty of feeling guilty. But I am working on it: guilt is unhelpful and a terrible waste of time and energy. Once you make a decision, whether a major one like staying at home vs. going back to work, or a small one like allowing the kids to play a computer game while you have some time for yourself, try to avoid second-guessing yourself. You are doing the best that you can. No one is perfect, and you are not expected to be a perfect mom or to never make mistakes. As long as you love them and provide their basic needs, your kids will turn out fine. Really.

5. Be Patient. Raising kids is hard work. Kids are noisy, messy and incredibly demanding. Yes, you will lose your patience once in a while. I do. But for the most part, try to take a deep breath and see them for the small, helpless people that they are. I am not a patient person by nature, but motherhood has taught me to be more patient than I ever thought I could possibly be.

6. Listen to your children. REALLY listen. This is a tough one for me, but I keep trying. We tend to assume that we know more than our kids do, which is true to some extent of course, so we don’t really bother to listen. In addition, we often act as problem-solvers, dishing immediate advice, when all they need is for us to listen to them. A couple of months ago, my 8 years old told me about problems she was having with friends at school. I immediately offered a solution, and it was obvious she was disappointed. She wasn’t looking for a solution. She simply wanted me to listen.

7. Be their mom, not their friend. Set limits. In a way, it was easy for previous generations. Parents were parents. Kids were kids. Families were patriarchal. Everyone listened and obeyed to the father. Now, families are democratic. We negotiate, talk things over, and listen to each other. We make important decisions together. This is great, but kids still need us to be their parents and set clear limits. We should listen to them and respect them – but we are not their peers. When I was a pre-teen, I used to snap at my mom, “I’m not going to be your friend anymore!” She would look at me calmly and respond, “Well, you are NOT my friend. You are my daughter”. It used to drive me crazy, but she was right. Our job is to be our kids’ mothers – not their friends.

8. Teach them simplicity. You will do them a big – a HUGE – favor, if you teach them at a young age to avoid associating happiness with the accumulation of material possessions. The younger they are, the more likely they are to listen to you, so start early. My kids are 6 and 8, and I often feel that now is the time to instill my values in them, before they are teens (or pre-teens) and peer pressure takes over. When it’s time to declutter, I allow my daughters to be part of the process, and we talk about how we don’t need all that STUFF. We never go shopping as a fun outing. They know that shopping is a necessary evil, something that you do when you really NEED something. Instead of buying books, we borrow books at the library. We reuse as much as we can. Together, we take pride in living in a clean, airy, uncluttered home.

9. Don’t push them too hard. I was raised as an overachiever, and I can testify from my own experience that overachieving does NOT lead to happiness. I do want my kids to be successful. I want them to reach their full potential and to be financially secure. But I am trying not to push them too hard and to maintain a relatively relaxed approach to success at school and to after-school enrichment activities.

10. Teach them self-esteem. I am borrowing this one from Leo’s list, because it is so important. In fact, I agree with Leo that high self-esteem is the single most important gift that a parent can give their kids. A person with a high self-esteem values herself and will not get into, or stay in, an abusive relationship. A person with high self-esteem is more likely to be happy and to reach her full potential. How do you teach your kids self-esteem? Exactly the way Leo said: by showing them that you value them, by spending time with them, and by talking with them and listening to them.

11. Teach them to be self-reliant. Another one that I struggle with every day. It’s very tempting to help your children in a way that robs them of the opportunity to help themselves. At every developmental stage your child reaches, she can do things by herself. If you do them for her, you are not really helping her, but rather holding her back. Gently teach her independence and let her do what she can do, and what is appropriate for her to do, by herself. The sense of accomplishment that comes with being independent is immensely important for a child. I once read in Penelope Leach’s book something that left a huge impression on me: good parents work themselves out of the picture – slowly. As much as I like to feel needed, I try to let my kids be as independent and self-sufficient as they possibly can. Ever so slowly, I am working myself out of the picture.

12. Laugh and have fun! When you’re a mom, it’s easy to become so absorbed in the logistics of taking care of your kids – what Leo refers to as the “mom stuff” – that you forget to relax and have fun. But kids are fun. They give you a wonderful opportunity to be a child all over again, and to do things that you never thought you would do as an adult (jumping in puddles is so much fun!) and see the world through their innocent, curious eyes. Haven’t noticed interesting insects and colorful butterflies in several years? You are going to start noticing them again once you have kids.

Mario and Luigi

2009-11-02T09:35:00.001-08:00

Super cute! Mario and Luigi, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Even though Wyatt didn't go trick or treating and it was too cold to put him in the town's Halloween parade we still had to dress him up. It is after all Toby and I's favorite Holiday. But...the little kids got a kick out of seeing Mario and Luigi come to the door to give them candy. I dressed up as a witch. I wanted to be the princess but I didn't have enough time to get my costume together. Wyatt also had brown boots to go with his costume but his toes were too fat to even fit in them. The best costume we saw was a girl dressed up as a grandma. When she turned around and walked away we all started laughing. She had a pillow stuffed in her pants and her little butt was just waddling down the street. It was super cute!

On a side note, Wyatt goes tomorrow to get his 6 month pictures done. I can't wait to see how they turn out!

Wyatt is 6 months old!

2009-10-18T17:55:00.001-07:00

P1070351, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wyatt turned 6 months old yesterday! I can't believe how the time is flying. Toby and I have really been enjoying him these last few months now that he is doing more things. Poor thing has to go tomorrow for his vaccinations and flu shot :( He has been working on cutting some teeth for about 2 months now and just tonight we can feel two of them coming through. One has poked through, just barely and the other is just about to break through the skin. He has been eating some solids for about a month and a half now. He has liked everything except for avocados which was the first thing he ate. He like green beans but I don't think they much liked him. He is such a happy little man and he has the funniest facial expressions. He is sitting up really good now and just last week he started to make some crawling motions. He also has started rolling himself to get somewhere which is very cute! He has discovered in the last few weeks that bath time is more than just getting clean, he loves to splash! The first time he did this he was in the kitchen sink and I ended up soaking wet as well as the floor, his towel, the counter and the window. He had Toby and I laughing sooo hard. He's been going to sleep around 7:30 or 8 and usually gets up around 6am for a bottle and then he sleeps until 8 or 9, depending on how lazy we want to be. For some reason he has no problem sleeping in his crib except for the stretch from 6-8am. He usually ends up in bed with us...which is the only time he does that. I wish he would sleep in his crib but everytime I try it takes an hour or so to get him to sleep in it and then he wakes up a half an hour later. So I have pretty much just given up on it...but if that's the worst thing he does so far, I'll take it! I'm so thankful that I'm not working full time anymore. I've been working about 20 hrs a week which is just fine for me. It's enough to get me out of the house and keep me sane but not enough to miss out on my boy growing up! I can't wait to see what little Wyatt has in store for us for the next 6 months!!

On the move...

2009-10-14T17:45:00.001-07:00

Wyatt rolling instead of crawling., originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wyatt will be 6 months old this Saturday! It has gone by way too fast. Just last night he surprised me and started to try and crawl. He's done a few motions here and there that suggested he was trying to crawl but nothing like last night. Then he started rolling all over the living room to get where he wanted to go. It was pretty funny. Here's a little clip of him rolling around. Enjoy!

A great man will be missed.

2009-09-25T21:52:00.001-07:00

P1070059, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

I got a text message from a friend in Bloomington tonight telling me that Digger had died last night. Digger owned a bar in Bloomington that we frequented quite often. It was a sort of "Cheers" bar...where everyone knows your name. We spent a good three years coming in and out of those doors. They hosted karaoke nights there which we all had fun singing. I have so many Digger memories and stories. Toby and I drank a beer with two straws one night. They were 25oz mugs and we were splitting it so Peg (Digger's girl) gave us straws to split it. We went there early in the evening for that afternoon drink and late at night for the crazy crowd. I've danced on the bar, we had our pic on the wall of pics and went there for my bachlorette party.Toby's Red Hot Valentines cd was even in the jukebox for awhile (along with Islands in the stream-bee gees version and the girl from ipanema) Digger was a crazy man. He would put on shoes that were too big for him, play crazy instruments, put on halloween masks ( in July) and tell you to "get the fuck out". If he told you that, he really liked you. :) He will be greatly missed. We got them to carry PBR on tap b/c us and all of our friends drank it. You could get a 25oz mug for $2.50. We got them to have karaoke nights which we packed like crazy. It was a home away from home when we lived in Bloomington. May sound cheesy to some but if you have ever had a Cheers bar then you know what I'm talking about. We are trying our best to go to his visitation on Tuesday night. I really hope we can go. He was a great man and I would love to help celebrate his life.

Chicken

2009-09-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

Toby and I are not big meat eaters and when we do eat meat it's mostly chicken. Well we had a brand of chicken in Nashville that we liked and it tasted very good. To some of you, you may be saying but chicken is chicken. Well, it's not. I want to gag every time I think about eating Tyson or Purdue chicken. They come from factory farms. The concept is disgusting and I can't believe we have allowed these to rise above family farms. Anyways, we have been on a search since we have been here for a good tasting chicken as well as one that treats their chickens in a decent way. The grocery store I am working at sells mostly Sanderson Farms chicken. What gets me is that their labels say "100% all natural chicken". Do people realize that their are no standards that need to be met in order for them to put it on the label? If it says organic it has to go through several things before it can be labeled that way. The word "natural" gets me b/c their marketing works. People see it's "natural" so it must be good. Well, in my research I found that Sanderson Farms ranks 24th on the list of top polluters in the country. They will definitely not be getting my business. After seeing this I knew there was no more reading to be done about this company. My mind was made up. So...the search is back on for chicken...sigh...

Feeling creative

2009-09-15T20:58:00.001-07:00

see my blog..., originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Maybe it's the slowness of the small town life or maybe it's just the fact that I'm not working 40 hrs a week and I have some time to myself but I have been feeling a bit creative lately. I have a brand new sewing machine and a big dining room table that are just screaming for me to be creative on. So, I decided my first project is to make Wyatt some soft soled shoes. The shoes in the pic are the style I am going to make. The top part will be black, the back heel part will be cream and I got the cutest skull and bones faux suede fabric for the soles. He's got some fat little feet and all of the shoes that he has will not fit him. It's not a big deal now but come winter he's going to need something to cover his piggies. What a better way than to custom make his shoes! Who knows if they turn out good enough maybe I'll sell some on etsy to make a little extra dough. And if they turn out good I know some people who are getting baby gifts...

video

2009-09-06T21:34:00.001-07:00

video, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

This was so funny that I just had to post it.

Started Wyatt on solids.

2009-09-02T13:21:00.001-07:00

P1060688, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

A few days ago we started Wyatt on solid foods. It's been quite funny. Each day he has done better at eating. This is a video of the first time he ate. We have been giving him pureed avocado mixed with a little formula to make it runnier. I plan to do quite a bit of his foods myself. It worked out great. You just put a little bit in each "cube" of an ice cube tray and freeze it. Then when you need some they just pop right out of the tray, thaw it out in the micro a few seconds and your ready to go. I think next week we might try bananas. I can't believe he is this big already! Where did the time fly?

Friends will be missed and randomness

2009-08-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

I wanted to add a little bit on to go with the last post. We will however miss our Nashville friends. We got back tonight (in Nashville) around 8:30 and we close on the house tomorrow at 3 and then we are out of Nashville for good (at least for living, we'll be back to visit). We've made some great friends here and they will be greatly missed. We had a small dose of small town life on Tuesday. We pulled in to our new house and while Toby and my dad were getting the moving truck up to the house our neighbors came over to say "hi". As soon as the truck was open and the ramp was out they started helping us unpack. We got the whole 24 foot truck unpacked in about an hour. It was pretty crazy. Then we all sat around for another hour or so and drank some beers and talked. Then later we went to the bar to eat some greasy bar food with my parents. Yes, Wyatt came with us and thankfully Illinois is smoke free now! Guess who is at the bar also eating dinner, our new neighbors. So, in the two days that we have been in Morrison I have to say that it is a nice change of pace; a little slower which is very much "home" to me. It was a little weird seeing people I went to high school with, something I will have to get used to. But...I am so glad that Wyatt will grow up in a small town. And yes, anyone that knows us knows that Halloween, our favorite Holiday, is coming up and we will be celebrating in style. Of course, Wyatt will have an awesome costume!

Home...

2009-08-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Best thing about the town I am moving to...barely ever any muggings, shootings, robbings, gangs, etc. I looked at the crime report for the last two weeks and some high school kid got picked up for weed. Other than that it was all traffic stops and that was IT! I so cannot wait to be out of the city and the South. Some people are made for the city and some are made for the South. I am not one of them. I am a small town midwestern girl who is headed back "home" in 6 days!

Thoughts...

2009-08-13T19:36:00.000-07:00

So I went to the dr the other day for my annual ob appointment. It would be the last time I would see my ob doctor. I love him and his staff. They are all so wonderful and I will truly miss them. Of all the things that have happened in the time that we lived in Nashville this man was a part of the two biggest things that happened to me. The birth and death of Waylon and Jesse and the birth of Wyatt. He was actually not my doctor when I was pregnant with the twins. But, when I went in and was in labor with them my doctor was out of town and he was on call. His bedside manner was the best. He also ended up taking care of me the two times I had to come in after I had the boys. I ended up switching to him. He was so wonderful throughout this pregnancy. Every concern or problem I had he took seriously. He acted upon it immediately instead of just waiting to see. I told him it would almost be worth moving back here for 9 months if and when we decide to have another baby. In a way, I am almost serious. I just hope I can find a great doctor back in Illinois. I'm sure I will but Dr. Davidson will always hold a special place in my heart. Sounds cheesy but it's true.

I've also been having a hard time lately dealing with the boys and Wyatt. It still hurts very much to see all the nieces playing happily together. I can't help to think of how my two boys should be shoving them or playing with them. The girls all dressed up as princesses when they went to Gran Mary's last time. I pictured my boys trying to take down the princess tent or dressing as pirates and getting the girls. Who knows, maybe they would have wanted to be princesses too-haha.

I know it is going to be a life long struggle. Sometimes it is easier than other times. Sometimes it doesn't bother me at all, it is very unpredictable. I just have to learn how to deal with it...

Kirk & Others Farm...

2009-08-10T09:45:00.001-07:00

P1060556, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

We spent the weekend at Toby's grandpa's house. On Saturday evening, we went fishing on the farm. It is land that was settled upon by Toby's great great great grandparents in Ohio County, Kentucky. The story goes that when the original owners passed on they left the land to their kids. Eventually over the years the land has exchanged many hands, some still in the family and some not. Well, slowly Grandpa and Uncle Jay have been buying the family land back. Hence the reason for the name, Kirk and Others Farm. They now have over 600 acres and still don't quite have it all. A few of the people won't sell. They have some areas that are set up to feed animals. I hadn't heard of this before but it's a great idea. They have a bean field as well as a sunflower field. These crops are not to be harvested and eaten instead they are there solely for animals to have some food. The lake on the farm was practically gone several years back. Beavers had dammed the lake and ruined it. They spent several years and $$ to get it back to a lake with water again and have stocked it with bluegill, bass and catfish. This is such beautiful land...it made me even more excited for our upcoming move back to Morrison, Il. Nature is so beautiful and peaceful and I want Wyatt to grow up knowing all about the grass, trees and the Mississippi river; not cement and sky scrapers.

Wyatt's first laugh.

2009-08-09T20:25:00.001-07:00

Wyatt's first laugh. , originally uploaded by kkirk78.

My little boy is growing tooooo fast already! He laughed and rolled over in the same week. I just hope he slows down for awhile. I'm all for an early roller and laugher but not an early crawler-lol.

Story behind Wyatt's first laugh...
I was changing his diaper and clothes when he started making this noise. I couldn't tell if he was happy or sad but then I looked at his face and he was smiling. Toby grabbed the camera and this is what we got....

Wyatt rolled over.

2009-08-06T17:33:00.001-07:00

P1060469, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Last night Wyatt rolled over for the first time (intentionally). He has done it a few times before but just by accident. I tried to get some video of him this evening rolling over but every time I had the camera going he couldn't quite do it and every time I turned the camera off he rolled over. Go figure. This pic of him is from last night. He is starting to enjoy tummy time more now that he can pick his head up and look at things instead of the ground. It's amazing to watch him learn something new daily. It seems like one evening he can barely do something and the next morning he is doing it like he has been for years. Looks like the fun is beginning....rolling, scooting, crawling, walking....

aawwww....

2009-07-28T18:22:00.001-07:00

aawwww...., originally uploaded by kkirk78.

My son is toooo adorable. That's all I have to write.

Wyatt is 3 months old today.

2009-07-17T19:23:00.001-07:00

He is totally chillin., originally uploaded by kkirk78.

I started back at work today, the same day that Wyatt turned 3 months old. I'm so glad I got to be home that long. I started him in daycare yesterday and he did very good. He is such a good baby. He really only fusses if he is hungry or tired. He loves to talk, talk, talk. This morning when I left for work he was smiling as big as he could to me and just talking away. I wondered why at that moment he couldn't have been crying so it would have made it easier for me to walk away from him. He has discovered that he can sit up now (with assistance of course) so that is all he wants to do. The bumbo is a wonderful thing! We also got a kiddie pool which he seemed pretty indifferent about. He doesn't quite sleep through the night yet but he is pretty close. He goes down between 7:30 and 8pm and wakes up usually between 4 and 5am. It seems every week it has been just a bit later so hopefully it won't be long before it is a few more hours of sleep (for us both). He is really getting to be a lot fun and I can't wait for these next few months. It's so much fun to see him doing new things every week.

Apparently I've been busy

2009-07-08T13:24:00.000-07:00

Ok...So I just realized it's been almost a month since I posted anything. Well, we've been quite busy. We sold our house in one week. A young guy is buying it. It is his first home. I go back to work on the 17th of July. So, I have begun packing since anyone that has kids knows how difficult it can be to get stuff done. I want to get as much packed as I can before I start back at work. We are still looking for a job for one of us back in Illinois. The goal is to get us back there and at least one of us have a job. Ideally I would like to stay at home and Toby would work full time but for now we'll take what we can find. We are moving into my grandma's old house in Morrison. She moved into a retirement village and has offered her house to us for awhile. We couldn't pass up the opportunity which is why we are moving now. We weren't planning on moving for a few years.

I went to Toby's parent's house last week. Mary Ann had knee replacement surgery so Wyatt and I went to help her out. They were soooo happy to get to spend a week with Wyatt.

Wyatt is almost 3 months old now. He is such a good baby. He really only cries when he is in the car. He doesn't like how his carseat sits back. He wants to sit right up. It's ok if I can sit in the back with him but horrible if it is just me :( Other than that, he is on a great schedule. He naps regularly and is in bed around 7:30-8 every night. He sleeps til 4am and wakes for a bottle and then sleeps til 7'ish. I wish I didn't have to go back to work. It will be hard to leave him.

Hopefully my next post will be soon saying that one of us has a job back in Illinois! We need all the luck we can get.

Two Months Old!

2009-06-17T14:52:00.001-07:00

P1050517_2, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

I am now two months old. How time flies. I am learning a lot of new things almost daily. I smile a LOT. I love to stare at mommy and daddy. Watching them talk is so much fun. I'm learning to use my tongue and mouth to talk back to them even. We have a lot of conversations although they can't always understand me. Just today I learned what those plastic keys are for that mommy keeps trying to make me hold-TO EAT! Their not as good as my bottle though. I've learned when dinner is coming too...when that bib goes on me I know the bottle is coming right up. I have made a friend, his name is J.R. He is 8 months older than me. In my first two months I have been to the zoo, a baseball game, the pool, the park, Kentucky, Indiana and Illinois. Wow just thinking about where I have been is making me tired...time for a nap. Goodnight.
Love,
Wyatt

Gotta love Craigslist.

2009-06-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

So I love reading posts on craigslist. Half the time their spelling and grammar is completely wrong. This is the best one I have seen in awhile. It was for some gerber baby cereal, I think.

Here is what they posted, "Hi i have 2 box cereal for baby,never open,i have 2 more box but is open,my baby i dont like,it you need let me know.thanks. "

Is she trying to get rid of the cereal or the baby?

I'm cute...

2009-05-30T09:50:00.001-07:00

I'm cute sometimes..., originally uploaded by kkirk78.

So, I'm 6 weeks old now. I am starting to be more awake and look at mommy and daddy. They make funny faces at me and sometimes I smile at them. But it just makes them make more faces. My day consists of waking up mommy to feed and then most of the time I am awake for awhile. Sometimes she puts me on the play mat and I find enjoyment in staring at this red bug that hangs from it. Sometimes I can even hit it. Then I usually take a nap for awhile and wake up to eat again. The rest of the day is the same thing, eat, sleep and poop-all in various orders.

Mommy is trying to teach me how to grab things. I like to make fists with my hands but she is insisting on spreading my fingers open. I guess it's ok because I learned how to grab my blanket so I could sleep better. Thanks mommy.

Wyatt.

Wyatt started smiling

2009-05-19T20:08:00.001-07:00

P1040977, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wyatt started smiling last night. I just happened to catch it on video too. It was a small smile but it was still a smile. You can watch it on my flickr page. This picture I snapped this afternoon. He was very smiley for about 2 min and then he fell back asleep. He has been having some problems with reflux so I took him to the dr yesterday. He is now on medication and I'm hoping within a few days he will be a happy baby most of the time instead of once in awhile. I felt bad but you could tell he was just uncomfortable most of the time. It broke my heart to watch him in pain. He seems to be doing a bit better already. He's also starting to reach for some things. He has a mirror that hangs in his crib that has a bee that hangs off of it. I put him in there when I change his clothes. In the last couple of days, he has learned how to grab it. It's so funny cause his hand will grab it and then you can tell he gets excited that he actually touched it and his legs and arms will flail about. This parenting thing is starting to get a bit fun now...

Happy Mother's Day to me

2009-05-10T15:19:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to me, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wyatt is three weeks old now. I'm so lucky to have him. This is my third Mother's Day but my first one to get to spend with my baby. I miss my Waylon and Jesse but if they were here I wouldn't have Wyatt. Anyways, I like to think there is a little of both of them in Wyatt. We had a perfect day. Toby gave me the best gift of all...time to sleep in! I slept from 6am to almost 10:30am! It was awesome to be able to sleep in. Then we went to Shoney's for brunch. I was hungry for a big breakfast buffet. Then off to Lowe's we went to get some plants and soil for the pond on the patio. We are taking out the pond and replacing it with plants. It is too hard to keep up with and was becoming a breeding ground for mosquitos and such. We came home and Toby mowed while I watched over the little one. Then we all went out to the back yard (Wyatt stayed under the back porch in his bouncy seat and enjoyed staring at the porch light and dozing off occasionally) and worked on the cactus garden and the pond/plants. I really enjoy working with plants so it was very relaxing to spend my afternoon doing that. It's getting to be evening time and Wyatt just ate dinner and is now in a milk coma. I am enjoying a beer. On the list for tonight is a bath for Wyatt and relaxing for us. Life can't get much better than this.

I'm slowly getting the hang of this parenting thing.

2009-05-06T07:04:00.001-07:00

It's been 2 1/2 weeks now but it feels like a lot more time has passed.Toby and I are settling into a routine that Wyatt wants to follow most of the time. He really is a pretty good baby. He has had a fussy time in the evening usually between 8 and 10pm. It would generally last an hour or two and he would just cry and cry. All we could do was hold him. He seems to be gradually growing out of that though. The last few nights the fussiness hasn't been as long and as loud. We've begun to do one formula feeding at night. That allows me to get some much needed sleep while Toby is on baby duty. I have felt like a mess these last 2 weeks. I went to the dr yesterday and he put me on a mild anti-anxiety medicine for a few weeks to see if it helps. I was crying all the time and was not able to sleep, even when I had the chance to sleep I just couldn't. Also a few times I woke up thinking that I had rolled over on Wyatt or that Angus - who came to snuggle with me, had laid down on Wyatt. These thoughts were very real to me and I even screamed at Toby one time asking him to turn on the light b/c I couldn't find Wyatt. I was reaching all around me and all I felt was Angus's hair. Turned out he was in his bassinet. I was starting to feel like I was going crazy and thanks to my husband who encouraged me to go to the dr, hopefully I will start feeling better soon.

Wyatt slept through the night

2009-04-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

Toby started back at work today and Wyatt decided it was the perfect night to sleep all the way through. I went to bed last night after I fed him at 9:30. I was back up around 11pm to feed him and Toby went to bed then. I was amazed. I fed him and put him in his cradle. He slept until his next feeding. I got him up, fed him and put him back in his cradle. Once again he slept until his next feeding. He did this all the way up until his 9am feeding. Even then I just put him in his swing for a little bit so I could eat my breakfast first. What a good little boy! It was nice to get a full nights sleep with the exception of waking up every 2 hrs to feed for an hour. But with me breastfeeding that is the most amount of sleep I can get. I hope he can keep this up...there is hope!

Survived the first week

2009-04-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

So Toby and I survived our first week of parenting. In some ways it was harder than I thought it would be and other times it was just as I expected. We had a few bumps along the week. Wyatt's tummy was hurting him. For about a day and a half after I would feed him he would pull his legs up to his belly and just cry out at the top of his lungs. I even saw a tear a few times. It broke my heart to see him in pain. I called the pediatrician to see what we could do and if we could give him some mylicon drops that are supposed to help with his gas issues. She said that was fine to give him the drops. We started with the next feeding and they have helped immensely. He still has a few moments where his tummy bothers him but they are 10 times better than without the drops. We are starting to get into a routine - somewhat. He feeds about every 3 to 3 1/2 hours. We are working on getting him to sleep in his bassinet by himself. At night time he wants to be cuddled up with him. The last two nights I slept on the couch with him wedged between me and the back of the couch. I don't want to do this for his safety but it's either that or we take shifts just holding him. We are putting him in his bassinet more during the day and he seems to be content so hopefully in a few nights he will decide he can sleep alone. Angus loves him and is already very protective of him. When Wyatt cries, Angus runs up to make sure he is ok. If we put him in the bassinet, Angus sleeps underneath of it. It's very cute! Even Sasha our cat has surprised us. He is very curious about Wyatt and has sniffed him a few times without hissing or swatting at him. I still don't trust him but I'm glad he is being somewhat nice to him.

All in all the first week went pretty good. I'm tired but when your getting up every 3 hours to feed there is not much room to sleep for a long time. I hear Wyatt waking up now..gotta go.

Meet William "Wyatt" Kirk

2009-04-18T08:58:00.001-07:00

all snuggled up, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wyatt was born April 17th at 12:15am. He was 7 pounds and 19 1/2 inches long. We are doing great!

doing great!

2009-04-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

He was born @12:15am on the 17th so just missed my b-day. i'm putting pics up on flickr.

2009-04-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

7.05 lbs
19 1/2 in

2009-04-16T22:31:00.000-07:00

william wyatt kirk
born 00:15 april, 17 2009

2009-04-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

11:15 almost time to push.
i confess. i'm nervous.

2009-04-16T20:55:00.001-07:00

10:55 10cm

2009-04-16T20:27:00.001-07:00

10:30 dialated 8 cm. whoa. she's fast.

2009-04-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

we are at the hospital. we came in at around 7:30, and kendra's water broke at about 9:00 this evening. so it looks like tonight's the night.
now it's about 10, and she just got an epidural.

baby Wyatt update

2009-04-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I got back from the dr this morning with great news. I am 4cm dilated and 90% effaced. He stripped my membranes again (he did it last week but it obviously didn't work). If I don't go on my own then I go in Monday morning at 7am to be induced. He said since I am so far along that they would start me on a very small dose of pitocin and break my water and that would probably do it. He did scare me a little bit because he said I would probably have to get an epidural pretty quick after getting to the hospital. That means if I go on my own we need to get to the hospital in time. I have been having a lot more contractions this last week and I'm just hoping that I will know in enough time to get to the hospital to get the epidural. But that also means that I shouldn't be in labor for a long time-hopefully. Well, Toby and I are getting really excited and nervous! I can't wait to meet him!

A tip for anyone that is pregnant I found the most wonderful tool in timing contractions. I have been using this for over a month now and it's great. It times your contractions and how long they are - http://www.contractionmaster.com/

Also, I will keep this blog updated with the latest info on Wyatt's arrival. I can update it from my phone so everyone can know just how we are coming along.

Like to take pictures?

2009-04-15T21:40:00.000-07:00

I found this great website tonight. It's called artscow and you can print your photos from there as well as photo gifts. I signed up for my free account and I got a ton of free 4x6, 5x7, 8x10 picture credits as well as a butt load of credits for different gifts including 8x8 photo books. All I have to pay for is shipping and handling. If you want to sign up, go through my link and then we each get free stuff.

http://www.artscow.com/?Ref=593832

How stupid has our society become?

2009-04-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

So, being home all day everyday, I have the TV on sometimes for background noise. The Today show was on this morning and guess what they actually talked about? Rain fashion! AND not just rain fashion but coordinating it with your child as well. I muted it so I didn't hear it but when I looked up there were little girls all dolled up in their rain boots, coat and cute umbrellas to match or coordinate with their parents who looked just as ridiculous. Seriously? People care what they look like when it is raining? I don't know about you but I usually am not out walking in the rain. I might run from a store to the car which to me doesn't buy enough time in the rain to make a fashion statement. Whatever...to each their own.

Our Easter adventures

2009-04-13T10:07:00.001-07:00

Angus still not feeling well this morning., originally uploaded by kkirk78.

It was a pretty nice Easter here so I decided to go outside and finish weeding our garden. We have this plant that grows in the south called pokeweed. All I knew about it is that some southerners eat it and it's known as poke salad. Well, we had one plant that was growing in our garden. It took both Toby and I to dig it out because the root was so big. So, we finished with that and then Toby went inside to watch his baseball game and I continued to weed. At one point I saw Angus gnawing away on the root like he does with sticks. I didn't think much of it since I knew the plant was edible. Well, about two hours later I ran to the grocery store. When I came back Toby had this look on his face. Angus had been throwing up severely since I had left which was only 20 min or so. I got to thinking and told Toby that he was gnawing at the root outside earlier and Toby said he was pretty sure it was poisonous unless it is cooked. Oops... So we called the emergency vet who advised us to call the pet poison hotline b/c they could advise us better at what to do. So Toby called them while I walked behind Angus cleaning up his vomit and poop. The poison line confirmed that it is poisonous and said we needed to get him to the vet. So, off to the emergency vet we went. They wanted to keep him there for a few hours to give him iv fluids and watch him for any changes. We called back about 2 hours later and the poison line advised them to give him fluids for 5-6 hours. That meant he was there until 9pm. We finally got to pick him up and he was somewhat happy to see us. They gave him the fluids and something for the vomiting and wanted us to follow up with our vet today. We got him home and he looked so pathetic. He could barely keep his eyes open. We could tell he really didn't feel good at all. He just snuggled with me on the couch and slept for the rest of the evening. I took him to the vet this morning and he's got some more medicine to take and we have to feed him small amounts of food throughout the day to make sure he is not going to vomit anymore. He is still very tired but every once in awhile acts like himself. He chased the cat away from his food this morning which is a great sign. He should recover just fine. I feel horrible and feel like this was a test of our parenting skills. Hhhmmm...I hope I don't let Wyatt eat a poisonous root-haha...

Free Movies

2009-04-13T09:17:00.001-07:00

I'm sure this isn't a big secret to a lot of people but I thought I would post this just in case you don't know about it. Redbox are the movie machines located near the entrance of stores, grocery stores, fast food restaurants, etc.

Redbox Codes
Redbox Codes are the way to get free DVD rentals from Redbox. Redbox and their partners create these codes to get more people into their stores and use their services.

You simply need to enter the coupon code from the main screen or just before checkout at your local Redbox kiosk. When you do, you will receive a one-day free rental. Any additional days you keep the movie will be charged at the usual $1/day.

Today's code is J89LA2.

If you go to this website, http://www.insideredbox.com/redbox-codes/ and scroll down they post the codes for the day/week. The only bad thing is you still have to remember to return it on time or you get charged. Hence the reason we use netflix (no late fees and we don't use gas to rent/return movies), but redbox is still a great deal especially if there is one conveniently located along a route you drive everyday.

Enjoy!

It's almost my birthday and Wyatt's too???

2009-04-10T07:13:00.001-07:00

So my birthday is on April 16th. This little guy is really pushing it. I guess it would be kinda cool to have him on my birthday but...I would rather not. My brother and I already share a birthday but he is 5 years older. I was his birthday present which he wasn't too happy about. I think it's funny b/c I pissed him off from the very beginning. Even if he isn't born on my birthday it will be somewhere between now, April 10th and April 20th. I'm being induced on the 20th if he hasn't arrived yet. So the countdown begins. I have (at the most) 10 days left-wholly shit! I hadn't thought about it like that yet. I'm excited, scared and nervous. I never had a chance to make it to this point with the boys since they decided to arrive so early. I guess this is how most first time parents feel right before their little one is born. I'm not scared about the delivery - did that with no epidural with the boys. I know it won't be a piece of cake but the thought of actually bringing home a little human being that Toby and I are in charge of is kind of intimidating. But I know we will be fine and I can't wait!

We went to the first Nashville Sounds baseball game last night. One of the ushers talked to us for a little bit and asked if we planned on bringing the baby after he is born. "Of course"...we said. This little guy has so many baseball outfits that I think he could wear a different one to each game. Of course, he will have to have his picture take with Ozzie, the mascot.

10 days and counting...

Wyatt, when are you coming?

2009-04-02T17:24:00.001-07:00

Wyatt, when are you coming?, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

We went to the dr today for our 37 week appt and an ultrasound. Technically I won't be 37 weeks until Saturday-yay-full term! We got to see Wyatt's chubby cheeks and his nose. But he had his fist in front of his mouth so we couldn't see his whole face. They are estimating him to weigh 6lbs 4oz right now. I have progressed from 2 cm to almost 3cm in 6 days. My dr thinks it won't be much longer. As he says, he has no scientific reason but he just thinks it won't be too long now. But...in the event that he doesn't come soon, I will be induced on April 20th if he has not arrived by then. I am officially on maternity leave, today was my first day. I plan to take it easy, sleep in and take naps as I please because I know it won't happen again for awhile once Wyatt comes. The countdown is on... :) I'm still betting on this weekend sometime, guess we'll just wait and see.

Are you ready to laugh your a$$ off?

2009-03-29T09:01:00.000-07:00

Ok so there is this commercial for the slap chop on tv. I am sure you have all seen it. Everytime I watch it I crack up when he says "You're going to love my nuts". So I got on youtube today and there are some really funny videos that people have edited. Here is one that I thought was hilarious. If you have time, youtube the slap chop for more videos...some were pretty hilarious and had me in tears.

Baby...Baby...Baby

2009-03-28T06:42:00.000-07:00

I am 36 weeks-Yeah!!! I went to the dr yesterday. He checked me out and said I am 2 cm dilated. I was almost 1cm 3 weeks ago. I'm still having my contractions on and off and I am not to take my medicine anymore to stop the contractions. As he put it "we didn't want those before but we will welcome them now". I guess the good thing about having the contractions is that it will slowly dilate me so maybe the actual "labor" part won't be as long. I go back to the dr on Thursday to get checked again and to have an ultrasound to see what position he is in. I'm thinking I have about a week or two left. So what am I doing this weekend...cleaning and getting ready. Just about everything is ready but there are still some last minute things to get done, like planting my seeds for our garden this year. I really want to have a garden but I know if I don't get it started now that it won't happen. We are going to have tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, peppers, eggplant and maybe one or two other things. I have the pots inside with dirt in them so I just have to plant the seeds and we need to get the garden area outside weeded.

On a side note, I am a HUGE fan of ER. I have been since about 1997. It all started because my old boss (who was an actor on the side) from a coffee house that I worked at was in an episode of ER once. I remember watching it at the coffee house with everyone and I was hooked. So, needless to say I am so sad that ER is ending. This Thursday is the final episode of ER. It is a 3 hour event! Toby is not looking forward to that...I think he should go work on music that night. I just have this feeling that Wyatt will make his appearance that day and I'm going to miss it. I'm not saying that ER is more important than Wyatt but it would be nice if he would let his mommy watch her very last episode of ER. But...on the flip side I want a Thursday baby (he could wait until the following Thursday). Baptist Hospital where I deliver does a thing with the first couple of babies that are born on Thursdays. They have a commercial where they show off the baby and Crystal Gayle does the music to it. Back in the day as a child I was a Crystal Gayle fan. They give the parents a copy of the commercial on dvd. How cool would that be to have little Wyatt on tv only a few hours old. Here is a link to one of the commercials so you can see what they look like: http://www.sths.com/womenshealth/thursdaysbaby.php?v=1

We are getting really excited to meet Wyatt and to see what this little boy looks like!

Ebates

2009-03-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

So I have discovered this website and I have been using it for awhile now. It's called ebates. It's sort of like a rebate but without the paperwork-I love the paperless system. You sign up for it-for free. Once you are signed up if you ever make a purchase online, go to ebates. See if the store you are purchasing from is listed and go through their website to buy your item. Each store has a different amount cash back listed as well as some coupons sometimes. I use it for our ebay purchases (we buy most cd's, baby stuff and random things through ebay). You get 3% cash back on ebay purchases. I also use it when I print out my photos through snapfish or shutterfly-they give you 10% cash back. Anyways, the only bad thing is that they give the cash back rewards out every few months. So you have to wait for the money. But if you are buying things online anyways you might as well get some money back. If you sign up through my link you will get $5 once you make your first purchase -

http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=m2Ue9coqJpzdZqlTDMjEFA%3D%3D

Things that bug me...

2009-03-20T17:43:00.001-07:00

I know I'm not perfect when it comes to grammar and proper English but there are some things that bother me. For example, I was listening to the radio this morning on my way to work. The dj asked people to call in to let them know what they were doing. He said "Because you know...we have to live vigorously through you"...Really, vigorously? I yelled "vicariously" at the radio and was glad that no one was around to see me yelling at the dj.

The other big thing that has bugged me is the "for sale" ads on craigslist. I can't tell you how many listings I have seen that say "for sell" or "I don't care if you re-sale it". C'mon, seriously? A co-worker of Toby's is the worst. She said to her husband on the phone the other day, "I ain't ever seen no rain last night." The sad thing is that she doesn't even realize that she is saying anything wrong and she says things like that all the time.

Toby bought a shirt at the thrift store the other day. It has the outline of the state of Tennessee on it and says "Literacy ain't everything".

Baby shower

2009-03-15T08:20:00.001-07:00

The girls, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Yesterday was a fun day. It's definitely the most I have done in a long time. I had my baby shower which I had a lot of fun at. Thanks Jan and Laura for putting it together. I got some great gifts. We had ice cream cake which was awesome! We also played some fun games. You can see all the pictures on flickr. I've got 6 weeks left til my due date but dr. says Wyatt will probably come 2-3 weeks early. But...I am fully ready! Bring it on!!

I'm soooooo excited to meet this little guy whose body shakes, wiggles and kicks when he gets the hiccups, wakes up with me in the morning, and loves Elvis! I think it's cause he knows mommy and daddy got married by Elvis. Whenever I put Elvis on...he starts moving about...it's too cute!

We also went to rollerderby last night. It was their first match of the season and we figured it might be the only one we could make it to. We only stayed for half of the match b/c the hard bleacher seats weren't treating my bum and back very well-lol. They were totally kicking Tampa Bay's butt when we left. After that Toby went and saw one of his favorite bands play, Superdrag. It was Jeff's baby shower gift to Toby. They had a lot of fun. This Thursday we are going to a screening for a new movie, I Love You Man. I'm excited about that too. We're trying to get some "us" time in quickly before it won't happen for awhile.

The first Nashville Sounds baseball game is April 9th. If I'm still pregnant we plan on going. If not, we will wait until Wyatt is a bit older and the weather is warmer and then he will be attending his first baseball game in one of his million baseball outfits. Wyatt will have a baseball buddy too...J.R. who is 7 months old. His parents are baseball fans too. Fun, fun times are ahead!!

Happy 2nd Birthday Waylon & Jesse!

2009-03-11T13:11:00.001-07:00

Happy 2nd Birthday Waylon & Jesse!, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Wow...I can't believe tomorrow will be their 2nd birthday. I really can't imagine how crazy our life would be right now if we had two 2 year olds running around and driving us crazy. I also wouldn't be pregnant with Wyatt now. So obviously I have mixed emotions about the whole thing but given the situation I am very happy that I have Wyatt. 2 years has dulled the pain but I still wish and want for them to be here. Sometimes it feels like a dream. I'm so glad we got photos and got to hold them. I don't think it would feel real at all if we didn't have that. I'm really curious to see if Wyatt looks anything like his brothers. Someday when the time is right Wyatt will learn of his two cowboy brothers in heaven. I'm also so grateful to have met two other moms of ttts angels, Andrea and Karen. They have done so much for me over the last two years. I don't know where I would be mentally without them.

I keep dreaming about leaving the hospital with Wyatt. I don't think I could leave the hospital again empty handed even if it is because he has to spend a few days in the nicu. It is the one thing that has haunted me over the last two years-going to the hospital to give birth and then walking out and getting in the car like nothing happened. I still remember the ride home was so very eerie and silent. BUT this time around I will be sitting in the back staring every second at our beautiful little cowboy. I guess maybe someday we'll need a cowgirl...maybe...

A big Happy Birthday to my boys!

I may be on official "maternity leave"

2009-03-10T17:13:00.000-07:00

So, I get 16 weeks of maternity leave and I really didn't want to have to use any of it before Wyatt was born. BUT I am completely miserable. Since week 30 (3 1/2 weeks ago) I have been having regular contractions (4-6 min apart) on and off. I am on procardia to help the contractions. It did help at first and then I was only taking it when I would have episodes of close contractions. On Friday we went back to the dr thinking this was really it. I was having cramps and a backache along with the contractions that were 4 min apart. But, nope he wants to stay a bit longer. I have been taking the medication non-stop since Friday and the contractions haven't really let up at all. They might for a few hours here and there but that is it. Apparently I have an irritated uterus...but it is irritating me! I worked yesterday and it was hard. But today was just miserable. I was having contractions every couple of minutes all day. I check patients out of their dr. appts and while I can sit a lot I also have to get up and done to put paper work back for patients, etc. My co-workers have helped but they can't always be there to do it for me every time. I feel like I will be a pro when it comes time for Wyatt to actually come. I have walked, talked and sat up and down through some pretty strong contractions. Anyways, I am taking Wed, Thurs and Fri off of work. I have my next dr's appt on Friday so I am going to wait and see what he says and to see if I am dilated anymore. I may or may not go back to work on Monday. I really didn't want to leave this early but I am just miserable at work. At least at home I can decide when to move around and I won't have patients staring impatiently at me!

33 week belly video

2009-03-08T08:43:00.001-07:00

33 week belly video, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

I caught Wyatt on video moving around like crazy. Watch where I put my finger on my belly. Each movement gets bigger and bigger.

so ready for this pregnancy to be over

2009-03-06T19:55:00.000-08:00

I'm not miserable, physically. BUT I am so sick and tired of these contractions. It all started just over two weeks ago with contractions that were 4-5 min apart. We got medication for me to take whenever I have these contractions. We went back to the dr today b/c this morning I was having contractions. But this time I was having back pain and menstrual like cramping. It was more like when I was in labor with the twins. Once again, it was a false alarm. The dr did say I was dilated to about 1cm. But that can stay for a day or weeks. Wyatt is also moving down a bit which I have noticed b/c I can breathe easier. They did the fibronectin test again today and it came back negative so we have 2 more weeks (probably) before I really need to worry about Wyatt coming. However, these contractions I am having today just don't want to let up all the way even with the medication. They are definitely not as close and as strong as they were this morning but they are still here. I am so sick and tired of looking at a clock all the time timing the contractions and waiting to see if they get consistent or go away on their own. I had a round yesterday that lasted about an hour and then they just went away as quick as they came. I want Wyatt to arrive safe and sound and screaming but I also want this pregnancy to end. Other than the consistent contractions I really do enjoy being pregnant. I have a day here and there where I am miserable but overall I feel pretty good. In fact I feel better at week 33 than I did in my middle 20's. I've also been sleeping pretty good lately.

I'm getting very anxious to meet him and see what he looks like. We haven't had an ultrasound since week 20 so I don't even really have a sneek peak at what he might look like now. But I guess I will just have to continue being patient.

All this for $30

2009-02-24T19:52:00.001-08:00

All this for $30, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

I had to post this for those that coupon....I bought this stuff a few weeks ago. This last week I got 15 boxes of multi grain cheerios for just over $12 (including the price of the coupon). They were on sale for $1.67 a box and I bought 15 coupons off ebay for 50cents off which doubles at Kroger. So, my boxes of cheerios were 67cents a piece.

What I got in the photo...
I had such a good shopping trip last night that I had to brag. I got the 3 baby wipes and 4 bath washes at CVS and paid $15 and got $5 ecb back. Then at Kroger I got 6 boxes of triscuits, 7 cans of tomatoes, 2 cans of chili, 2 cans of mushrooms, milk, 2 boxes of popcorn, 2 pkg's of shredded cheese, 1 pkg of cheese slices, bag of onions and 1 green pepper and paid $15. Even the cashier looked at it and said "wow". I had saved $40 using the Kroger card and coupons.

Thought Wyatt was coming today...

2009-02-19T17:12:00.000-08:00

So, I guess we had our first false alarm today. I will be 31 weeks on Saturday. I woke up and rode the city bus to work today. I usually keep a mental track of when I have contractions. Well, I noticed after having four of them that it was within an hour (the time it takes me to ride the bus to work). So, I started keeping track of them. All morning they were pretty irregular but I was having them quite frequently. At about 10am, my boss took me to lay down in an exam room for awhile. So I laid there on my left side, drinking lots of water and writing down every time I had a contraction. They started coming about every 10 min and were actually getting a little stronger. I called Toby and asked him to come pick me up so we could head over to the dr. Of course my dr is out of the office til Tuesday so I had to see the on call dr. It took about an hour to get in and by this time my contractions were very regular and coming every 5-6 min. I thought for sure he was going to look at my cervix, tell me I was dilating and send me to the hospital. But...he said my cervix looked good. They did a test called fetal fibronectin that can tell you if you may go into labor within the next week or two. If it comes back negative you have a 1% chance of going into labor soon. He also said it looked like I might have an infection which he said could be the source of my contractions. So, he gave me a prescription for the infection and one that would slow my contractions down. We headed to the pharmacy and I took the pill immediately. That was about 3pm and within a couple of hours I was down to just a few, less intense contractions. They called just after 4pm to say that the fibronectin test had come back negative. So it looks like this is our first false alarm. I have to say I am very glad Wyatt wants to stay a bit longer. While I know he could survive I'm just not quite ready-nor do I want to deal with the nicu.

happy tears...

2009-02-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

Probably only those that have lost a baby would understand how and what I have been through. I have only had a few sad moments since I have been pregnant. They usually only last an hour or so, something that has drastically changed since they were born. In the beginning, if I was having a bad moment it may have lasted days. Now it only lasts a few hours or minutes. The sad moments I have had have mostly been just feelings of missing my boys. I will never get to see them live and hit all the milestones that should make a parent smile. Well, today I was just thinking about Wyatt coming, rubbing my belly and watching him kick where I was rubbing. I started to tear up but this time it was happy tears. It's the first time that my tears during this pregnancy have been happy tears. I told Wyatt things are going to be different this time. I know this b/c even if he was born now he would most likely live. I hate to think that way but I can't help it. I have one more week and I will have made it to week 30. I think my goal after that is to make it to 34. I'm visiting my ob every 2 weeks now. I can't explain how awesome of a doctor he is. He has made this whole pregnancy much easier on me. I was coming every two weeks for almost two months in the beginning and getting ultrasounds done each time. It was so reassuring every time to see him looking so perfect on the screen. Toby and I are both getting so excited with each week that passes. And at the same time looking at each other and saying "shit...what did we do?" I think these are the feelings that most first time parents have but instead the first time we were so stressed out by the fact that we didn't know how we were going to pay for child care, living expenses and just taking care of two babies. Our child birth teacher told us something last week that I think Toby and I plan to take full advantage of (sorry parents). She said that right after our babies are born, not to run out and tell everyone in the waiting room. She said to take an hour or so and just spend some time with the three of us. I think that is a wonderful idea and especially after the boys I would love to have those first few moments with Wyatt just between Toby and I.

I can't wait to meet this little boy who has been kicking away inside of me...

Funny things about having a baby inside you...

2009-01-25T09:16:00.001-08:00

So, on weekends I can usually get up early without waking up Toby or the dog. BUT...there is no way of being so quiet that you don't wake up a baby inside of you. I woke up at 7:30 this morning with my hips killing me. Sometimes the bed makes my hips hurt sleeping on my side. So, I decided I would go lay on the couch and see if I could go back to sleep for a bit. However, little Wyatt decided since I had gotten up and moved that it was time for him to get up. He is always very active when I start moving about in the morning. At first I was a little frustrated b/c I really wanted to sleep in this morning. He wasn't just moving about either. He was pouncing back and forth from one side of my belly to the other (at least that's how it felt). But then I noticed on my left side a very rhythmic pattern like hiccups. It was the first time I have felt him have the hiccups. It lasted for about 2-3 min. It was so sweet and I just laid there feeling him hiccup every few seconds. Of course, after he was done with the hiccups he settled down and stopped moving about. By then, I was wide awake. So, my Sunday began at 7:30am but it was welcomed by Wyatt's hiccups.

no heat in the house

2009-01-19T19:22:00.001-08:00

no heat in the house, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

So...we got home from work on Friday, walked in the door and we both looked at each other. It was very cold in the house. I went and looked at the thermostat and it said 50. Uh oh...something was not quite right. On one of the coldest days of the year so far our heat unit decided to quit. We checked our breakers and the other small things we could think of to check but nothing worked. So, we used the east nashville list serv to find us a heating man that others recommended (thanks fellow east nashvillians). We found Jerry who said he could come out Sat morning and look at it. He was pretty sure after I described over the phone what was wrong with it (and he was right). Our friends Jeff and Laura were kind enough to let us sleep at their house. So, we opened up the cabinet doors under the sinks, let the faucets drip, packed up clothes and Angus and headed on over where we proceeded to play wii most of the night. Sat morning we came back home to wait for the heat man. It was 40 degrees in the house. That's when i snapped this pic. He came and tried to temporarily fix it until he could get the part on Monday. He said the place would charge him $100 to just get the part b/c it was on a Saturday. So, we got excited when the heat started pumping out. He left and said he would be back on Monday with the part to replace it. Well, the house heated up and then the heat never kicked on again. So, off to Jeff and Laura's we went again to stay until Monday. Once again, we played a LOT of wii. It made the weekend go by faster and was fun to just bum around all weekend and play games. Thankfully though the heat man came Monday morning as promised and by 9:30 the heat was on. So, it is Monday night now and I am sitting on the couch (not wrapped up in blankets or sitting on the heating pad) and am basking in the warmth of our fixed heat unit. Thank you Jerry....

made it to 23 weeks!

2008-12-29T06:38:00.000-08:00

I am now 23 weeks pregnant. I delivered the boys at 22 1/2 weeks so Toby and I are very relieved to have made it to this point. We are both getting very excited to finally have our little baby join our family. I started going through the baby clothes last night. We have a mountain of newborn clothes. I got very excited looking through them...we have some adorable outfits too. We bought his outfit to come home from the hospital in. It's a little blue and white striped onesie that has a weiner dog on it and it says "hot diggity dog".

We had a good and relaxing Christmas. My parents came down on Wed and left Sunday morning. We went to the Zoo on Saturday, it was 73 degrees out and we needed something to do outside. We then went and ate at the Blackstone Brewery. They make their own beer and have a restaurant there too. I had a pepperoni, tomato and mushroom pesto pizza. It was good! Although my parents and Toby got the pleasure of enjoying some fresh Blackstone beer. That is the hardest part about being pregnant...not getting to enjoy some good beer especially around the holidays.

Well, I am looking forward to 2009. 2008 was a lot better than 2007 and I know 2009 will be even better. We are starting the New Year credit card debt free and will have the car paid off in about 6 months and we have a little one on the way. What a great way to start off 2009...stress free!

20 weeks pregnant

2008-12-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

Well, I am officially half way there. I'm very anxious to make it to 23 weeks as the boys were born just before I made it to 23 weeks. From there on it is all new territory. We had a small scare this week. On Monday morning I started getting cramps and low back pain. It was exactly how everything started last time. I called my hubby and he told me to call my dr. So, the nurse told me to go ahead and come in and they would check me out. I rode the bus that day so Toby had to come pick me up from work which was fine with me. We were both scared b/c the last time was so chaotic. I went in, dr checked me and said I was 5cm dilated. I was rushed over to the hospital, rushed into a gown and they shoved iv's and medications in me before I even had a chance to sign anything. We were so scared that the news would be the same. But, dr checked me out and said my cervix is still fully closed (inside and out) and that he thought it was probably muscular pains. We got a quick peek at our little boy again and he was just bouncing around in me. He told me if it did get worse or I had any hestitations to come back in. He is the dr that delivered the boys so he knows how paranoid we are about any pains, etc. Apparently we were very worried when we went in b/c we couldn't remember where we parked when we left. We rode up and down the elevator a few times in the garage before we found it. I've had some more cramps and back pain this week but it has not gotten worse. I went in for my 20 week appt on Friday and everything was checked again. Cervix is still fully closed which is like hearing I won the lottery. They did the indepth ultrasound and he weighs about 13 ounces (he is measuring 20 wk and 3 days). Everything is functioning like it should. He does have one cyst on his brain. We need to go back in 4 wks for another ultrasound to make sure it is getting smaller or it is gone. Dr. said he has never had one yet that didn't resolve itself. Apparently it is fairly common. So we are not too worried about that. I have posted pics of the ultrasound on flickr. His profile reminds me of the boys. I think he might have the same nose and lips but I think they have different chins. I guess we'll find out in a few months. I just can't wait til all this is over. I enjoy being pregnant but not all the pains and aches and worries that make me think something bad is going to happen. I also started having braxton hicks. I've been experiencing it for about a week for two now but didn't realize at first that is what is was until was sister in law said something. So many things are going on in my body, it is crazy when you think about it all. I just wish it was April and my little boy was close enough to arrive any day. Well, except that we still don't have a name for him so I guess we can wait a little bit yet. :)

Couponing 101

2008-11-30T06:25:00.000-08:00

I've had so many people ask about my couponing so I thought I would post a few things that I have learned since I started. To get the best discounts you have to combine a coupon with a sale. This requires planning and training (on the husband). I've had to train us both to write on our grocery list when something becomes low, not out. For ex., when Toby opens up the last coffee container it goes on the list. It will keep rolling over each week to a new grocery list if I don't find a good sale. I have a notepad with a magnet on it on the fridge so we can write it down asap when we think of it.

When you find a really good deal and it is something you use, stock up! Harris Teeter triples coupons up to $.99 about every three to four months. You can only use 20 coupons a day and it usually runs 3-4 days. This last time I had coupons for chicken broth. I use it on a weekly basis when I cook meals. The chicken broth was on sale, bogo (buy one get one free) for 1.19. I had a coupon that tripled so I got $1.20 off of 3 ($.40 coupon/3 tripled). At grocery stores if a sale is 2 for $5 you don't have to buy 2. You can buy one for $2.50. Given that, the broth was basically $.60 a can x 3 = $1.80 for 3 cans minus my coupon $1.20 = $.60 for 3 cans of chicken broth. I bought 27 cans that weekend! I made three trips to Harris Teeter that weekend but it was well worth it. That is the only time I shop there. That is also the most planning I ever do for a sale.

I usually shop Kroger and cvs. I only shop HT during triple coupons and then elsewhere just depends on if there is a sale and I see it. I buy the sunday paper the following week. It is $1.75 on sunday but if I wait til Monday it is only $1. I usually buy 2 then. I also look through the coupons quickly before I buy them. That way if there is a really good coupon or set of coupons I can buy more. If it is a bad week then I only buy 1. After awhile you learn what coupons are valuable to you and what are not. That is one thing I can't tell you. It depends on your lifestyle.

Organizing my coupons took awhile to get down. Now I have a binder filled with page dividers and baseball card sleeves. I have them categorized by frozen/refrigerated foods, dry/boxed foods, canned/jar foods, pet stuff, beauty, etc. I also have a spot just for cvs and kroger coupons. When I buy 2 papers I take the like inserts and put each page of the insert together to cut them out. That way I am cutting two coupons at a time. They go into the binder and they are done. It makes it so much easier and faster when you get to the grocery store b/c thumbing through a bunch of coupons is annoying. Plus I found that I would find a good deal when I was at the store but the coupon would be home. This way I have every coupon with me.

We have a Kroger credit card. We budget $420 a month for gas and groc. I put a sticky note with the dates of our budget (ex. Nov. 19-Dec. 16) and the amount ($420) at the top. Each time we make a purchase I subtract it from the total. That way we don't go over our budget. This way we also get $.15 off a gallon of gas from Kroger and we get Kroger coupons in the mail. These are usually coupons for items that you use (they keep track by your card). We also get checks in the mail every few months made out to Kroger. I got mine the other day and we got 4 $5 checks and one $10 check. I will use one of those for the next few visits to knock off a few more dollars. Pay off the credit card each month and you have beat their system!

Cvs has a system called extra care bucks (ECB's). These print at the end of your transaction and are like instant rebates. For example, last weekend for black Friday they had sooo many like a bottle of lotion was $5.69 with $5.69 in ecb. Buy that and then you have $5.69 in ecb. The savings really come when you can combine it with a sale. I bought bic soleil razors. They were on sale for $6 with $6 in ecb. I had a coupon for $3 off. So I spent $6 out of pocket on two (they usually have a limit-this one had 2) and got $12 in ecb back to use towards future purchases. I ended up this weekend with two tubes of toothpaste, a bottle of lotion, 2 bic soleil razors, foundation makeup and powder and paid $6 out of pocket and now I have almost $20 in ecb. It takes awhile to get this system down as well.

Hotcouponworld.com is a great site. It is a forum that people post their best finds,sale ads, etc. It is categorized so if you are looking at a specific store you can find it quick. I get on their cvs part b/c they will post the ads for usually 3-4 weeks out. Oh yeah..cvs also has a monthly ecb booklet. It is monthly deals instead of weekly that all involve ecb. There are usually a few free items each month after ecb. Hotcouponworld doesn't really help me with Kroger. I use it mainly for cvs and Harris Teeter triples. There is a coupon database on there. Sometimes if you need a coupon but don't have one you can look on there and it will give you a list of where people have found coupons for that item. Sometimes they are internet ones you can print out.

Well, that is what I can think of now that will get you started. It takes time in the beginning. I was lucky that I started when I didn't have a job. Now that I have it down it only takes a little bit more time each week.

Good Luck!!

15 things that change when you have a baby

2008-11-05T14:46:00.000-08:00

I got this in an email the other day and really liked some of them so I thought I would share it with other parents.

These are 15 things that change when you have a baby

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.

4. You respect your body ... finally.

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.

6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.

11. Every day is a surprise.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.

14. You become a morning person.

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

felt our baby move

2008-10-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

I sat at work in amazement this morning (and really didn't want to work) because I was feeling our baby move for really the first time. I had felt he/she kick once last week but that was it. For about an hour or two this morning I just kept feeling twitches and pokes...they weren't huge movements but definitely enough that I could tell it was more than gas-hehe. It was also in the same area of my belly that I felt the kick last weekend and the same area where I have found the baby's heartbeat. So..I'm pretty convinced it is the baby I am feeling. I can't wait until Toby can start feeling the baby too. I remember last time I felt the babies for a week or two before you could feel them on the outside. I'm getting more and more comfortable that things are going ok with this baby. I have been doing good but there is a part of me and I keep trying to shove that part to the back of my head that thinks something bad will happen. I haven't been letting it affect me but it's still there sometimes...just waiting. We have an ob clinic at my office on Thurs morning for pregnant pt's with diabetes. We had a couple today that lost their baby. It's sad to see them walk out. It takes me back...there is nothing you can do or say to bring their baby back. The only thing I can offer if they come to check out with me is that I too have lost two babies and that I understand what they are going through. This girl wasn't too far along in her pregnancy so I'm pretty sure she was considered a miscarry but it still sucks to see it happen. That is the second pt I have seen walk out comprehending the news that was just told to them...this baby will not survive. Sorry to end this post on a bad note but I guess that's just the way my thoughts ran.

I will end this on a good note instead...Melissa and Josie will be arriving at our house in a few hours. I'm excited to get to spend the weekend with them!

my belly

2008-10-29T19:06:00.001-07:00

14weeks pregnant, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Here is the pic I said I would post. This was taken at 14 weeks. It's definitely popping out. I had some people ask at work the other day "Where have you been hiding that belly?"

getting excited for our baby

2008-10-27T15:05:00.000-07:00

I am 14 weeks now. Last week was really the first time I have had a thought about doing something with this baby when he/she arrives. I was thinking about how he/she is due in April so that means we could take the baby to a ball game this summer. That was something we dreamed about doing with the boys. Dressing them up (but not alike) in little baseball outfits going to a game. I think subconsciously I was not letting myself have these thoughts with this baby, until the other day. I am finally realizing that this baby will be coming and I can't wait to meet him/her. I was actually thinking about how it's a girl and what kind of outfit would we dress her in to go to a baseball game. Surely they must have little pink onesies with baseballs on them. Toby thinks it is a boy...guess we'll just have to wait and see. We went to a zombie walk yesterday. It was national zombie day and they were hosting a walk downtown. So, of course Toby and I went dressed as zombies (see flickr for pics). While we were there I felt the baby move for the first time. It made Toby and I laugh. Apparently our baby loves zombies as much as Toby does...that's his little girl (I mean baby-hehe). I'll try and post a pic of my belly tonight. It's pooching out a little more.

Baby things are ridiculous!

2008-10-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

So...we already have a car seat for our baby. When I was pregnant with the boys we had purchased a double stroller with 2 car seats. We held on to it for awhile after we had the boys but then decided to sell the stroller and one car seat while they were still current rather than wait til I got pregnant (since we didn't know when that would be) without twins, it wasn't current and then we couldn't sell it for as much. So to make a long story short we have a car seat but no manual. I was looking at it and couldn't figure out how you make the straps bigger or smaller. So, I went to the internet and found the manual for the stroller/carseat combination. The manual is 125 pages!! That is so ridiculous. I think they do it on purpose just to make pregnant hormonal moms even crazier...haha...I have decided that I found the manual and that is good enough for now. After all, I do have 6 months to figure it out.

11 week bump

2008-10-09T18:13:00.001-07:00

11 week bump, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

Here is a pic of my growing belly. I know it's not very big yet but it's a start. If you look at my flickr page I also have a sound clip of the baby's heartbeat. The clinic that I work in has a doppler so I used it today and recorded it with my phone. I'm feeling really good right now and have been for the last week.

We also made a trip last weekend to the smoky mountains. It was soooo great!! I have all the pics up on flickr.

Toby and I are getting ready for our favorite holiday - Halloween! We are excited on top of that b/c Melissa and Josie will be here. I can't wait to have Josie in our house again. We used to have an entertainment stand that had drawers in it. When Josie was coming over all the time we kept her toys in that drawer. About a month ago, we bought a new tv and stand and I took her toys out when we moved it. It was really wierd and almost like I was saying good bye even though I know I'm not (if that makes any sense). I don't know why I just thought of that...I've been feeling sentimental & nostalgic lately (pregnancy hormones??) I've been thinking of the boys a lot lately. So far, I have not had a complete break down about them or this new baby. I think I am just really excited to be pregnant and to have the reality of a baby coming into our house. I know the reality is that I can never have my boys here with me alive and I know I cannot replace them but I can have a brother or sister for them. I know I will enjoy this pregnancy but this time I don't even care about being pregnant. I just want to skip to the moment where I am being wheeled out of the hospital with a baby in my arms. That is my dream...and it WILL be fulfilled SOON!!

Sorry I'm rambling...bye for now...

due date moved

2008-09-28T07:17:00.000-07:00

So, Toby and I went to the dr on Friday for my 10 wk appt. He had originally given me a due date of Apr 11th which I realized after I got home was about 38 weeks not 40. So I asked him when I went on Friday and he said he must have had a brain fart. So, my due date is April 25th now which is at 40 weeks. It is also my moms b-day and 9 days after my brother and I's b-day (were five years apart). So, we'll have another April b-day to add to our b-day celebrations! I guess we'll have lots of April b-days to celebrate on both my side and the Redden side of the family with three little ones all due within days of each other. We also got to hear the heartbeat. Everything seems to be going just fine.

found a cute ultrasound

2008-09-25T13:15:00.000-07:00

So...looking ahead at next week (10 weeks) I found this page with a funny little ultrasound. The baby looks like it is pushing off the uterus. It's quite funny. Just click on the link below and scroll down the page to see it.
http://www.i-am-pregnant.com/encyclopedia/U/Ultrasound

Josie does the itsy bitsy spider

2008-09-24T15:16:00.000-07:00

My niece Josie who is 1 1/2 (already!) learned the motions to the itsy bitsy spider. It is so freakin cute that I had to share.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-U_ov4XrENI

My pooch & other wierd pregnancy things

2008-09-19T17:13:00.001-07:00

9 week belly, originally uploaded by kkirk78.

So..I know they say every pregnancy is different and they are right. I have had more cravings and wierd things with this one so far. One night I wanted ice cream with applesauce on it so bad. I didn't do it so still not sure if that's a good combo or not. I've been hungry for hamburger, powdered sugar donuts (had that with the first pregnancy too), constantly thirsty, chicken nuggets and french fries and fries in a frosty. I haven't fulfilled them all...some due to sheer laziness b/c we don't have them in the house. Although I ate chicken nuggets and fries twice last week. Also, I can't stand to have shoes on right now. When I am home, I kick off the shoes and spread open the toes. The wind coming through them is the best feeling ever-I know it's wierd.

I am officially 9 weeks tomorrow (Saturday). I thought I would include a little picture of my growing belly. It hasn't grown much but just enough that most of my pants are tight and uncomfortable. I am slowly weeding out my old pants and replacing them with the elastic band pants.

I did get to hear our little baby's heart beat yesterday. I borrowed the doppler at work and tried to find it for several minutes. I was just about to give up when I found it. I got my phone out to record it so Toby could hear it and then I lost it. I couldn't find it again. I have a dr's appt in a week so we will both get to hear his/her little heart beat then.

My husband loves me for many reasons and saving money is one of them.

2008-09-19T12:32:00.000-07:00

Harris Teeter, one of our local grocery stores triples coupons up to 99cents every 3-4 months. You can only use 20 coupons a day so this was a two day event for me. This is usually a chance to stock up on condiments, side dishes, cleaning supplies and personal hygene items. I did pretty good so I thought I would post my two day shopping trip. Here is what I bought:

Trip 1
3 pouches of Betty Crocker potatoes
2 Boxes of rice (each contain 4 boil bags of rice)
1 brick of Folgers coffee
1 4pk of toilet paper
1 jar of salsa
4 cans of refried beans
1 bottle of olive oil
1 tube of colgate toothpaste
3 tubes of refrigerated rolls

Total was $12, saved $36

My great deals were: toothpaste-made 75cents on it, refried beans-all were free, and olive oil-normally $6 got for $2.75

Trip 2
4 muffin mixes (2 strawberry & 2 raspberry)
2 cornbread mixes
2 10packs of juice boxes
1 brick of Folgers coffee
large bottle of Mr. Clean cleaner
bottle of soy sauce
bottle of franks red hot sauce
1 jar of salsa
2 boxes of snack bars (like a granola bar)
2 cans of campbells soup
1 bottle of olive oil
1/2 pound of ground beef

Total was $17, saved $39

My great deals were: juice boxes-paid 50 cents for 10 boxes, olive oil again, soy sauce-paid 40cents, hot sauce -made 20 cents and mr. clean-paid 50 cents.

I spend about an hour each week to clip and organize my coupons and it definitely pays off when triples roll around!!